Married and Desperately Seeking a Threesome

Dear Jamie,

What I really want for Christmas is another woman.

I’m sure I’m not the only guy who feels trapped by a life with only one lover. I love my wife and she is hot. I’m lucky, I know that, because she’s still va-va-voom twenty years after we said I Do. She’s curvy with big boobs and dresses in tight red sweaters and high heels… and she loves sex.

The problem is not her, but in a way it’s not me either. Blame male biology!

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I have stayed faithful but I can’t lie, I crave variety. I feel I’m going mad from other women on the street. Even the neighbor lady, who wears sturdy shoes and barn clothes—my dick gets hard just seeing her, and I think about bending that fat ass over the birdbath. As for the truly hot new office admin—I can barely work. I go home and fuck my wife. I feel resentful because it’s my only outlet.

I don’t want a divorce. I know there’s nothing better out there. I don’t want to feel this way, I want the woman I committed to and chose to be enough. I don’t want to stray—I want to play this out with threesomes.

I know I’m not alone. Two of my long-time married guy friends discreetly take care of business with pros. They refer to the escort service girls as Marriage Savers. Both dudes haven’t gotten any at home for years, though. I don’t have that excuse. Please help! – Warren, 39

Dear Warren,

Thank you for such an honest letter. You speak for men. Too often, people dismiss these legitimate struggles by saying men are pigs. But the hell is real. The need for sexual variety can consume a man. It is a natural, normal, biological drive.

I am sympathetic to your  situation, but that doesn’t mean there’s an easy solution. Women have heinous evolutionary impositions, too—we get stuck menstruating and we get pregnant. Biology isn’t fair.

You won’t feel relief if you cheat. The need for variety remains, whether it’s one or a million partners.

I say, ask her permission, and then live with the answer.

You might be surprised. Women aren’t wired the same way as men, but we like variety. Trust me, I want it every which way it comes.

Some might say the last thing a wife wants to hear is how, even though she’s hot and you love her, you want to fuck other women. Maybe. But women know men crave variety, and all of us deserve and appreciate honesty.

I want you to bring it up as you have with me. How you are troubled, didn’t want this, haven’t acted on the impulses, and feel man’s biology is betraying you. You are bringing it up because married people share their struggles together. You want to find a solution together.

You know where I’m going with this! The threesome is a perfect solution for longtime married people—you can continue to share everything sexually and still explore and experience the pleasure of others.

No one needs to be left out! It’s a win-win because your wife gets a chance to speak up about her fantasies too- maybe she’s always masturbated thinking of interracial liaisons, or wanted to give a woman an orgasm with her tongue.

Ask her just to think about it, and to think about trying it, and don’t act distantly. Make love to her often and don’t pester.

A woman in a trusted environment like yours is much more likely to feel safe opening up to threesomes than one who is always being hounded by a guy who has cheated ten times. The odds are in your favor!

Let us know what happens!

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