In our sex-negative culture, we often hear warnings about fulfilling our fantasies or expecting sexual excitement to last in a long-term relationship. The morning commute often includes a tabloid story about how a threesome or other sex adventure ruined a marriage or otherwise went awry.
Of course, it can happen, but marriages have ended over much less. What you don’t hear very often is how a threesome can save your long-term relationship.
Sharing sexual adventure together can rekindle intimacy.
Couples who enjoy travel, date night, hobbies, and adventures together are closer. The same spirit can reconnect lovers sexually when things are getting too familiar.
Sharing your wife or husband reminds you to see them sexually.
By witnessing the excitement and arousal of the other suitor, we see our partner in a whole new light—or old light, as the case may be. Seeing how someone else desires our partner is a huge turn on. It’s psychological, cutting through some of the everyday familiarity, but also physiological—both men and women’s hormones surge when another gives their mate sexual attention.
Ever go home with your wife or girlfriend after seeing a man flirt with her in a bar, and have volatile hot sex? Ever wonder if your lady was unfaithful, then couldn’t keep your hands off her, even though it was just a passing thought? Imagine the voltage when you literally watch each other with a third person. The sex gets really really good, not just during the threesome but after.
A threesome can help her think like a man, and you a woman.
If you’re like most couples, you argue sometimes or even often, and one of the subjects that invariably surfaces in such exchanges is something like you saying, “For crying out loud, Mary, it’s just sex!” to which she counters, “There’s no such thing as just sex.”
You wish your woman would understand that it doesn’t mean anything, and she can’t believe you’re so shallow and callous and disconnected to the meanings that she has invested in.
Being part of and witnessing a steamy threeway where you fuck someone else without falling for her can be a valuable insight for a woman, especially if she participates and feels the sexual thrill.
On the other hand, you will also gain insight and appreciation for your partner, because you’ll see how different the emotional connection is between you and the new girl (or guy!) and you and your wife. What fizzles a bit naturally through the passage of time and familiarity is so much more than skin deep. The threesome can be an amazing illustration of both sides of the story.
A threesome can provide access to “what’s missing” without excluding either spouse.
A common marriage problem comes in middle age, when both men and women are coming to terms with their changing bodies: it’s normal for a man to soak up the attention of a hot young thing because it helps relieve some of his fears about hairline and waistline, and a woman can blossom under the attention of a new suitor because it helps her feel attractive again.
Much older couples may have long gotten used to their bodies, but also to each other. And younger couples might have different issues about what they’re not getting from each other, for example, women like myself really enjoy exploring our bisexual side. If she’s married, she might feel she needs to go without or deny that part of herself.
A threesome together can sometimes provide the things you can’t give each other? Rather than stepping out or calling it quits, can you share those things?
Did a threesome save your marriage? Or ruin it? Share your story with us!
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