De La Soul said three is the magic number. If you were a drummer, then hitting your drum once would be a sound. Hitting your drum twice would be two sounds. Hitting your drum a third time, however, means that you have established a pattern and that pattern is a rhythm that can be repeated. This is the point at which mathematics and art intersect. The principles of it all go back as far as the ancient genius Pythagoras, and probably much farther.
So what does this have to do with getting your dick wet? Well, we’re so focused in this society on the notion of two. The perfect union, the holy matrimony, heteronormativity. Yet, this very principle, hammered into us from such an early age by the mass media and the god freaks, read to us in fairy tales as we drifted off to sleep, is the thing that seems to get us into the most trouble, the most often.
Why is this? If heteronormativity is so fucking great, then why does my eye follow every lady I pass on the street, whenever I walk anywhere? Why do men take mistresses? Why do rich wives fuck their pool boys? Why are we all such dogs?
The point is that the system we keep getting told is so fucking wonderful and fairy tale like is actually a bunch of bullshit. Being with one person all the time can feel like a prison sentence. It’s nearly impossible for two people to have matching sexual needs, or to have all their emotional requirements met by one another. Each person is under a lot of pressure to be everything to the other. Who needs all that?
I mean okay, maybe your own personal relationship is the cat’s pajamas, and you’re reading this and thinking it’s all crap. Good for you. Go be happy. A lot of people are not happy, and their heteronormative relationship is the direct cause.
For nearly fifteen hundred years, from the fall of the Roman Empire to the beginning of the twentieth century, Western Civilization (I’m looking at you, England) kept drums out of its music. Why? I think Christianity was afraid of the primal instincts awakened by the sound of percussion, and of rhythm. This epoch of drum free music coincided quite handily with the very worst days of Christian morality about relationships.
As the West encountered more places that still loved the drum (like basically everywhere on Earth except Europe), the instrument hammered its way back into the public consciousness. A more open sexuality followed it. Everybody has their own sexual rhythm. Don’t be afraid of the dance!
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