Consent and boundaries are an important part of sex. It’s very seldom that “anything goes” with anybody, all the time. We all have things we don’t do, seldom do, have never done, or tried already that we don’t care for.
Boundaries change in different hookups and relationships. They help define limits of consent in kinks and fetishes, and they can differentiate partners or hierarchies for polyamorous lovers.
Most people want to set down a few yays and nays before sex of any kind, including threesomes.
While it might seem as if boundaries could put a damper on sex or bog it down with inhibitions, in practice they are actually liberating. We are more free to experiment and pursue our fantasies or indulge our partners’ fantasies if we know the terms of our consent will be clear and respected.
For example, setting limits means a safer approach to turning a relationship from monogamous to open, or exploring the world of BDSM and other kinks, allowing all parties to be comfortable with taking things to the next level.
Here are some common threesome boundaries you might encounter along the way or be familiar with already.
Boundaries in Group Sex Encounters
Limits on Guy-On-Guy Action
As the old joke goes, every man wants an MMF threeway, until she does.
That’s because, for a lot of men, it’s all about her with another guy. You’re thinking about her riding him, or her getting fucked by both of you. She might be thinking of how hot it is to watch the two of you together.
A lot of guys are more comfortable with the MMF if they have some boundaries in place for how far they’re willing to experiment. Some agree that guys can only touch her, not each other, but most of you aren’t that old fashioned. You’re willing to indulge her pleasure by experimenting, but M2M penetration is often out of bounds, at least in the beginning.
No Anal
Anal is a no-go zone for lots of men and women whether solo or couples or moresomes.
But even women who love anal, masturbate with anal penetration, and let you take her ass every night might want that to be between the two of you.
In a threesome, she may not want to share her ass with someone else, or for you to take another woman’s.
No Exes in the Group
Horny tried and true sex partners from the past or previous friends with benefits can make arranging a threesome a piece of cake—who better to join you both than someone you know?
It can be tricky to find a third from a pool of strangers, or meet someone attracted to both parties in a couple.
But some couples are very adamant of steering clear of potential drama and emotional entanglements. They prefer a no-strings attached guarantee and won’t include exes in the mix.
Discretion and Confidentiality
A common boundary is simply that it be your little secret.
She might want to tell the girls all about what you get up to in bed, but you prefer to keep it just between you.
Maybe the stranger in the trilogy wants to keep mum about things because some aspects of society still view casual sex unfavorably. There are many reasons to be discreet, and you don’t always need to know why to practice it.
Penetrative Sex only for Primary Partners
Some people enjoy threesomes as long as neither of them “go all the way” with new partners.
Safe Protective Sex
The most common, most important boundary in any group is safe sex. Condoms, lube, good hygiene, and lower-risk practices are all key essentials for good threesome sex.
What are some of your threesome boundaries?
Tell us what you think