Nothing throws a wrench into the fun, pleasure, intimacy and bonding of a hot threesome like unexpected emotional drama. You signed on to get naked and participate in a sexy adventure, and things went south from there.
My personal philosophy is to bring sex what I want sex to be: respectful, pleasurable, affirming, and great for everyone. This is true whether things are light hearted or hardcore kinky.
But people pursue sex from different standpoints and with different motivations. For some folks, some of the time, sex is a weapon, or something confusing, or an opportunity to play with other people and make them do their bidding, and not in a hot kinky way.
Here are five archetypes you want to avoid when you’re planning a threesome. And just to be clear, since FFM threesomes are very common, and since the bad guy is not always a man, I mostly refer to these dates as women—but they may be people of any gender.
And if you are still looking for new threesome partners, be sure to take a look at our list of the best threesome dating sites.
5 Types of People to Avoid in Threesomes
1. Little Miss Liar
Everyone lies on their online dating profile, to a point. You have to expect that in a crowded marketplace of desire, where everyone wants to put their best foot forward and will leave out some nitty gritty stuff or embellish their highlights.
But there are some profiles that take it too far, wherein everything that comes out of their keyboard is a lie. They date under an alter ego or fantasy character, or lie to get what they want. Whether they lie out of a need to validate a massive ego, or prop up non-existent self-esteem, you don’t want to get involved.
2. The Professional Victim
It’s one thing to mention an ex-husband’s dastardly deeds when you’ve been dating a while and getting intimate with your life stories. But watch out for folks who take every opportunity to slag an ex, a family member, or a friend—people you don’t even know. The tables will be turned and soon other people will be hearing about you.
If a date can’t wait to tell you about how co-workers, doctors, neighbors, in-laws, and lovers have mistreated her, she gets off more on sympathy and attention than on getting naked with a fun loving couple.
3. The Avenging Amazon
Some people jump into bed with you in order to get back at someone else. You don’t want to be used in this kind of game. And the last thing you need is to have an angry dude—the one you thought she was in an open relationship with—after you.
4. The Non-Consenting Submissive
You want to have a threesome with partners who are independent decision makers horny for sex and eager to explore relationships and hookups on their own terms. This might include submissives who take full ownership of their desires to be ravished, commanded, and taken.
But watch out for the person who seems confused, is an easy pushover, who invites or joins but doesn’t seem that into the game. Some people don’t know what they want, are unstable, and are easily pushed around. There are lots of submissives who know what they want, and you’ll find them on niche dating sites like BDSMdate.com.
5. The Master Puppeteer
Some people use sex as a way to pull all the strings—getting off on drama and chaos—and even try to break up couples they have threeways with. They’ll use seductive tactics to try to throw a wedge in between you and your partner, instead of affirming your relationship and being part of it for the night.
One thing you can do to protect your relationship is to ask a potential third questions that will help you get to know them better, as well as their desires, expectations, and motivations.
Is there a type you would add to this list? Please share in the comments.
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