So your girlfriend has agreed to a threesome! Congratulations. You’re both in for some exciting anticipation, preparation, and action. Still, she’s definitely got some fears and probably won’t express them. So it’s helpful for you to know about them, in order to make sure your first three-way together isn’t your last.
6 Fears Your Girlfriend Might be Hiding
1. She’s Not Enough for You
Your girlfriend gets why a threesome is such an exciting idea for men, and since she’s in, clearly it’s sexy for her, too. Still, on a visceral level, she can’t stop thinking that she’s just not enough for you, and that you must need something else to be satisfied.
It’s best for both of you to tackle this fear head on. The truth is, it’s incredibly rare for one person to be enough for another. Our sexual attraction to others doesn’t end conveniently when we’re with someone! If two people have made a commitment to be exclusive, then it’s the commitment that keeps them faithful, not some miraculous lack of attraction to other hotties! That’s what you want to emphasize: your commitment to her is the glue, not a mythical absence of sexy women in the world.
2. The Novelty Will Be Stronger than Your Bond
This fear is not unfounded—a lot of us, men and women—have thrown away very meaningful relationships for something new and fleeting. It doesn’t hurt to talk openly about how you’ll both guard against moments of irrational thought that can arise. The third party may even manipulate a situation to this effect: some people use sex as a weapon, not as a gift.
There are a lot of different combinations for threesomes, but if you are a long-term couple, make sure you remember that this is something you’re doing with each other. This doesn’t mean you make your date feel like the third wheel on the wagon, but he or she does need to know that neither you nor your girlfriend are looking for new pairings.
3. Things between the Two of You Will Feel Awkward Later
Yes, they might. But ultimately, your bond will be strengthened by pushing these boundaries with each other. Your trust will deepen, and experiencing new heights of pleasure together is a profound way to grow closer.
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4. You’ll Want a threesome all the Time
She will worry that making love to just each other won’t be exciting anymore. It’s normal after a new sexual experience to fantasize about it a lot and want to repeat it. But it will be temporary.
5. She Won’t Know What to Do with another Woman
Since every woman is unique, you’ll both be learning what to do! It will also be exciting for you to show the new girl what your leading lady loves, so make sure you tell her that.
6. You’ll Get Upset with Her
She’s not the only one who might feel jealous. This happened to me. My boyfriend and I had enjoyed many three-ways with his ex-girlfriend. One day, I wanted to try an MMF threesome and my man was totally into it, getting off with me a few times a day just thinking about it. But when he was actually there, watching me spread my legs for the stranger we brought home, he lost his erection and sat on the sidelines. I was so into it I didn’t notice right away, which is an example of what not to do.
You can both determine in advance some kind of a sign to show you’re uncomfortable. Taking a breather might be all that’s needed.
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