Couples Advice

How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Secure about Threesomes

Couple Bonding

Sex for women is often about reassurance. Sex is where humans play out emotions and psychological dramas.

Kink and role playing are obvious ways to take on memory or imagined experiences, but we play with power, nostalgia, needs and boundaries even in the most routine sexual scenarios.

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Just as threesomes might give your vanity a place to roost, so they should for her.

For a woman in a relationship, as hot as the sex itself is, an especially heightened part of the threesome is what happens AFTER—you go home WITH HER. Even following full penetration with her rival blonde, you are affirming that you belong to her.

This particular dynamic is why it’s so threatening and cataclysmic when a three-way goes wrong—a lot of couples break up if they aren’t experienced or prepared for his ongoing desire for the other girl.

If you want lots of threesomes with your girlfriend, make sure you keep this in mind and give her what she craves. Inside she knows that it’s totally natural for you to be totally gaga over new pussy. But it’s also natural for the Queen Bee to be given her due, so do so.

Acknowledge and Appreciate Her 

Not every man gets treated to a threesome and not everyone has a kinky, open girlfriend eager to experiment with others. Show appreciation and gratitude for that.

If she went out of her comfort zone on your behalf—maybe gave cunnilingus or went in for double penetration—thank her for the special treatment. She may have ended up enjoying something she wasn’t certain about trying, but her pleasure is not the only reward—your reassurance and satisfaction is the gift that keeps on giving.

Put Her First

Guys get so blindsided by novelty that they forget to cultivate their primary relationship.

Sure, you think it’s already a done deal—you asked her to marry you or to move in, or you made another kind of commitment. You feel secure in that you’ve landed the partnership of your dreams, so now you’d like look elsewhere.

But that’s not how it works for women. We want to know that your commitment is ongoing.

Threesomes Are a Package Deal

Threesomes are not about getting laid by someone else, they’re about doing something new with your girlfriend. This is really just a change in semantics, but it’s an important one.  

Don’t ogle, sext, plead or whine in ways that emphasize you wanting to fuck her best friend or the redhead next door. Frame everything in terms of the experience you are having together.

This shouldn’t be hard, after all, you ARE doing it together. If it was just about variety, you’d be fine with moving on and sleeping with others without her. Right?

Reassure by Doing, not just Speaking

Forget empty words. The best reward is the authentic bonding from furthering the intimacy between you. Some women are skeptical that making love with others can enhance the relationship: prove these ladies wrong.

When threesomes ruin a relationship, it’s often because of how dudes handle it. Make sure she knows that you still find her incredibly desirable and that your love and commitment are paramount.

The best way to ensure future three-ways is to provide her the secure platform of partnership from which she can safely explore her fantasies—and yours.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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