Does Equality Exist in Threesomes?

Controversial Philosophy Alert: I believe a relationship is NEVER a 50-50 evenly-split agreement, with equal energy investment given and taken by two people in a relationship.

I believe it is a balance of some sort, but just like San Francisco is a city built on a hill that just accommodates the degree of angle that Mother Nature says HERE, SUCKA about, it’s a balance of convenience. Until someone gets inconvenienced enough to want to earthquake the relationship and say, “I’ve had enough of this imbalance, I’m outta here!”

In a threesome, it’s kinda the same thing! But heroically, three people work together to try and create some semblance of security, connection and safety.

You pray that you all escape with your emotions intact in the morning because the reality is that no threesome has equal attraction all the way around, 50-50-50 (or that’s 33-33-33, I suppose if we want to get technical. I’m a lover, not a mathematician, dammit!)

When you deal with that unbalanced equation, you face the fact that, yeah, you are mathematically probably on the receiving end of less fun than someone else in the situation.

You can do some other math in your head, like how many other people are having a fucking threesome tonight? Yeah, exactly. Then you go back to appreciating the imbalance you may be encountering, and count your lucky blessings. You continue on calculating how much love energy kilojules of passion you will have to pour into the reservoir of riches to compensate for the convoluted complications careening into your co-co-habitation cuddle time.

A cliché trope is that an FFM threesome will involve either both women focusing on the man (porn fantasy #1) or both women focusing on each other (reality #1). Either way, it probably won’t be three people equally sharing attention, affection, connection, attraction, and expression. Not in your wildest dreams.

The next wildest dream is to watch two people enjoying each other while you’re in awesome proximity. And you get to add a lil something extra to it all, just for being such a wonderful, understanding, balanced human being.

Even if a threesome is unbalanced sexually, please believe it: everybody wins!

Sincerely,
Addi Stewart

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