Do you love parties and social scenarios, meeting new people, and having friends include you in their plans? Or do you get bored with others, enjoy your own company as often as possible, and prefer online dating to looking for love and sex in clubs?
Extroverts and introverts don’t understand each other—many introverts think party people are shallow or need too much attention, and extroverts think people who like to go to movies alone are antisocial, lonely, or can’t get a date.
It’s not a bad idea to brush up a little on the general traits of these two personality types, to better understand yourself and your dates.
Here’s what to do and not do when mixing and mingling lovers for a threesome.
DON’T make assumptions.
Don’t assume an introvert is less interested in a threesome. Many are MORE interested, because it’s a small group and it’s intense. They’ll skip the crowded fetish party and be in for the menage a trois right away. Introverts are interested in intense experiences.
If you’re not sure whether something will work for someone, ask them.
DO tailor your dating to work for everyone.
If your introvert girlfriend says she’d rather meet potential unicorns one at a time, having coffee or wine and chatting, understand that she does NOT want to go to big parties and flirt all night with sexy women to see who might want to come home with you guys.
Lavish your extroverted dates with phone calls and attention, but don’t be clingy with those who need more space.
When you date introverts, consider quality over quantity—a long walk on the beach with good wine in a cozy bistro later will work wonders. When you date an extrovert, bond by enjoying a variety of social outings together.
DON’T apologize for who you are.
It can be tricky for an introvert and extrovert to date for any length of time unless they’re really accepting of different love and sex styles. If you need to do a lot of things together with your partner, including having wild three-way adventures, that’s your truth and seek it out accordingly.
And don’t let the extrovert woman belittle you for “being desperate for dates” or being “stodgy” if you need a lot of time to read or walk in the woods alone, rather than attending all of her friends’ book clubs and jogging with groups.
The good news is variety is the spice of life, and especially for hookups or casual relationships, a mix can really broaden our experience. Extroverts are a LOT of fun to brave a nightclub with once in a while, and introverts are often so intuitive that their lovemaking skills are unparalleled.
DON’T expect what a person can’t give. Receive what they offer.
Extroverts are amazing at flirting and making every guy feel like a million bucks. Introverts don’t spread their affection as widely, and the focus means intense sex. Soak it all up. Enjoy people as they are, in and out of bed.
DO mix and match.
Don’t always try to find two people who are alike for your threeway. Find middle ground for everyone—introverts don’t usually want overwhelming stimuli like music blasting on ten, but extroverts don’t want total silence and will find it uncomfortable. What’s wrong with some sexy soundtrack on medium volume?
The introvert of the MMF or FFM trilogy tonight might want to meet you both for drinks on the way home, or come to the hotel bar when the party starts. But you can meet the extrovert on the way by stopping at the club she’s at and enjoy a few dances.
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