The term “ménage à trois” is often used interchangeably with “threesome,” either one involving a sexual encounter with three people. It’s true, that this is what it involves, but the notion of the ménage à trois has a slightly larger history and context.
Literally, the translation is “household of three,” so it’s not merely a mater of three people having sex all at the same time, in the same bed. It’s a home where three people reside in a sexually complex relationship. This could mean that all three are actively having sex, or that one person has two spouses who share his or her time. There are a variety of possibilities.
Of course, the Church has always frowned on these sorts of polyamorous arrangements. They are looked upon as sinful and deleterious to domestic happiness. At this point in history, though, given the repulsive and sexually deviant behavior that is clearly one of the central tenants of church life—especially the Catholic Church—it is important to doubt the credibility of their advice.
Despite all this, there have been notable ménages à trois in history. The ones we know about involved artists and noble people, those who had the intelligence or the influence to safely ignore the shackles of piety. You can be sure, though, that there have been countless other instances.
Admiral Nelson, British hero of Trafalgar, lived in a ménage à trois with Sir William Hamilton and his wife Emma Hamilton for several years. The press, such as it was in 1799, lived and died on lurid tales of the doings of this trio. Lady Hamilton even bore Nelson children, while married to Sir William. Regardless, Nelson still helped protect jolly old England from the marauding French, and was raised to the highest in the pantheon of British history.
Mary Shelly, genius author of Frankenstein, and her poet husband Percy, co-habited as lovers with Clair Clarimont who later became the lover of Lord Byron. The Shellys also had a complex relationship with Byron, though how much “manage” was involved, I don’t know!
Friedrich Engles, one of the architects of communism lived with, and had relations with, a pair of sisters at the same time. Talk about sharing the wealth!
There are a great many examples of this kind of thing if you start surfing the net. Usually they involve thinkers, artists, the idle rich, who feel free to indulge for their various reasons. Honestly, I think monogamy is a big pain in the ass and makes few happy, yet we’re all so wound up with this idea of faithfulness and being good. It makes life so boring sometimes!
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