Facts & Info

Threesome Pitfalls to Avoid

Sweaty Sex

Finding three compatible people who are willing to get naked together is a tall enough order. Actually showing up on Deed-Day is yet more insurmountable. But let’s say you manage to get that far—is it nothing but smooth sailing ahead? Maybe. I hope so.

But don’t always count on it.

Often, being new to group sex can affect the session’s outcome. Or maybe something within the dynamic is throwing your game. Whatever your level of enthusiasm prior to kickoff, threesomes are apt to be functionally volatile. It never hurts to consider the following pitfalls:

A first-timer’s sudden change of heart. You’re stoked, fully committed, perhaps even naked. Then the moment arrives, and you’re just not into taking the plunge. Maybe it’s nerves, or apathy, or achy muscles, or gastro, or who-knows-what. When it comes to sex, No always means No, even for yourself—and sometimes no happens at the 11th hour. Be prepared to deal with—and accept—it.

There goes the boner. Beginner group sex sure is exciting! It can also be white-knuckling. Good luck keeping an erection while you’re suffering from performance anxiety. I suggest you keep the dildos on standby (all is usually forgiven if the ladies are still cumming like wildcats—even if it’s not your cock doing the honors.)

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Incompatibility. Hey, that’s life: you get together with people who you hope will get you off, but, alas, you’re just not feeling the love after all. Sure, it would have been better to have reached that conclusion before the pants were tossed in a pile, but no still means no. So you drew a dud—there are always more cards in the deck. Even jokers!

“What should I be doing?” Having three naked people in the bed can be overwhelming, the options are beyond calculation, and befuddlement can lead to distraction. Next thing you know, you feel stupid and resort to erring on the side of looking busy rather than staying focused. If necessary, choose one bit of business you enjoy doing and start enjoying doing it. If the others can see you’re into something, they’ll dig watching you.

The odd-one out. The most devastating consequence of a threesome is one person feeling left out. Notice I wrote feeling, not being. Although it is possible that two of the three parties might make an unexpectedly potent connection, what’s more likely is one person will mistakenly interpret it that way. Here’s the thing: not every “move” in a 3sum requires three people. Sometimes the third person is needed to assist, to encourage, or—just as exciting—simply to watch and cheer. Never underestimate how hot it is for the other two to be watched and cheered.

Go Team Go!

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