Facts & Info

Threesome Unicorns: Lies They Tell

Woman Wrapped in Satin

I know, it’s hard enough to find a unicorn. Then, when you’re involved with a woman who is interested in having threesomes, that legendary willing-and-wonderful other woman really does seem like a figment of the imagination or a fairy tale.

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And just like any other folks putting themselves out there in the dating world online, the mythic unicorn sometimes has confusing motivations for pursuing sex, and sometimes fudges the truth on her profile.

Here are some things to watch out for.

She lies about her age.

The most honest women in all of world history have lied about their age. So what? Who cares if she’s really forty, but said thirty-seven?

Just be aware that things get complicated fast when a woman says she’s twenty-five, and she’s sixteen. Do make sure your barely legal hottie isn’t still in high school.

Some young women are precocious and adventurous and overeager for the thrills that lie ahead. Good for them, but a threesome with you and your wife will have to wait a couple of years.

She says she doesn’t have a boyfriend

This might seem obvious if a unicorn is looking for no-strings-attached sex with strangers, but there are exceptions. Some women seek out threeways or other wild sex adventures to penalize a man or seek revenge on him for cheating or another infraction.

Getting tangled in someone’s bad drama is not the way to have “no-strings-attached” fun, and can quickly become a nightmare.

You might not notice anything except her great tits and how they’ll bounce when she’s on top of you, but it’s a good idea to listen to your girlfriend’s “women’s intuition” if she senses something’s wrong. Believe her if she wants to pass on a unicorn, even if you see nothing wrong.

She says she has lots of threesome experience.

There’s nothing wrong with a first time for threesomes or any other kind of sexual experience or adventure, but a unicorn might not want to say so in case she is seen as a newbie or not taken seriously.

Ask pointed questions to get to the truth if you think she might be less experienced than she’s letting on, and emphasize how important it is to both you and your girlfriend to make her feel comfortable.

She says it’s just about the sex.

Chances are, if someone advertises in their online dating profile that they’re just looking for sex, then that’s what they’re looking for. After all, if they wanted something else, they would say so, right?

Stable people know what they want, and look for it. You want to watch for unicorns who aren’t stable and who don’t know what they want. These kind of men and women are actually looking to disrupt someone else’s stability, rather than simply seeking hot strings-free sex. They can turn into stalkers or worse.

The point is not to assume that every woman who turns up looking for group sex is dangerous. It’s to proceed with caution when you’re naturally going to be thinking with your penis.

The most essential part of this equation is your partner. Put her and your relationship first, and watch for any strange signals you get from someone else that might threaten that.

She slams her threesome ex-boyfriend.

Guys are frequently jerks, you and I both know that, but it’s a red flag when someone you don’t know starts trolling for sympathy. If I met you, and you started by telling me how evil your ex was, I would want to proceed slowly. So should you.

Any other lies you’ve been told when it comes to finding a unicorn?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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