Q & A

All I Want for Christmas Is a Threesome

Couple at Christmas

Dear Jamie,

I want to make the most of the holidays this year and have some memory-making sex with my gorgeous girlfriend.

We have experimented with some of our kinks and fantasies, including my stiletto fetish, domination and submission, and black rubber wear. It’s been really hot.

We haven’t talked about my most driving fantasy—to have two women at once. I know it’s something she did in the past when she was in a polycule, but it’s not something I’ve been lucky enough to be part of. Yet!

We met on a kinky dating site, where her profile said she’s looking to settle down with the right man, to find someone who is both willing to share and explore kink as a lifestyle, and work towards a stable platform for marriage and a family.

How do I give her a threesome for Christmas? It’s not really something you can put under the tree, lol! Or do I, dressing a willing woman up in a sexy Santa suit?

Any advice you have would be appreciated!

– Dylan, 30

Real Threesome Dating Near You

Thanks for writing, Dylan. It’s hard for me to respond to this because I know you are expecting hot sex tips from a poly slut who loves kink and orgies, and that you’re totally clueless about the possibility I’m going to tell you go to hell.

But there it is—go to hell. Or the north pole if you prefer.

You see, this all sounds like a lot of fun and if I woke up and my boyfriend had my favorite luscious BBW blonde waiting for me under the tree, I would cream my pants. But you’re not dating me, Dylan.

Nor are you asking how to give HER a threesome for Christmas, so I’m not going to pat you on the back for being so open minded and generous. You’re asking how you can get what you want and pass it off as some kind of gift.

Your girlfriend is sexually experienced, kinky, generous and game. If she wanted group sex with you it would have come up. She has made her needs clear—a mature, stable, kinky relationship. Why don’t you man up and give her that for Christmas?

I have to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that your selfishness is a byproduct of being wowed by the adventure with a sexually experienced woman who has been indulging your kinks, and you aren’t thinking past your horniness because it’s all still novel. So consider what I say without flying off the handle.

If you reread your letter carefully, you’ll see it’s all about you and not about her at all. You can fix that, and move forward with a spirit of gratitude, and see if you’re lucky enough to keep a woman this hot.

Maybe you’re not ready, and that’s okay too. There are lots of girls who will want to have a threesome with you. You should go find them, and let your current girlfriend find the partner she needs. Her biological clock is ticking, so don’t waste her time if you’re not up for what she asked for in her profile.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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