Threesomes are not the easiest thing in the world to make happen, especially considering how damn hard it often is just to make a TWO-SOME happen! So yes, getting a third wheel in there to drive everyone to the same orgasmic destination can be a tricky-ass game to play!
It’s not one for the faint of heart, and it’s not one for the dishonest of tongue! This is a small primer to help guide you towards the special place where you take the leap of faith, say what you gotta say, and do what you gotta do to make the triple-fun dream come true!
A threesome is not just going to fall into your lap, trust me. If you just wait for a miracle like that to happen, you will probably find yourself waiting a hell of a long time. Of course, it can go down like so, and I’ve had threesomes come together because the right friends were at the right place at the right time, and the right alcohol was drank while the right music was playing. But that’s not the wisest route, because you don’t often reach where you think you will.
So, don’t rush into anything. Take the time to articulate and express your thoughts and desires. You may just find out that you’re not alone in dreaming of threes.
4 Tips for Communicating Sexual Desire
1. Ask with Respect
Slow things down, and take your betrothed to a quiet and calm place where you can openly communicate your truth to them with eye contact and clear words. Let there be no mumbling, no back-handed subtleties, no slick talk, and no wool over the eyes. It takes a real moment of truth to begin a threesome, so make it a good moment. And give your all.
2. Allow for a Response (after Processing)
Like all good sex, there’s give and take, back and forth, in and out! So once you have given your request for a threesome to someone, step back and give them time to THINK about their feelings about doing it with you and whoever.
It may take only a microsecond to decide if you’re most fortunate, but more often than not, it takes a few days for people to make up their mind about all the details and variables they need in place for them to feel comfortable about getting down with two. Be respectful and wait patiently for an answer.
3. Be Detailed and Direct
The best way to make a threesome happen is to be honest and up front with a person who has enough TRUST in you and the other people involved. You don’t need to overthink it, and you don’t need to micromanage it. You DO need to be sexually and emotionally responsible before, during, and after, especially if you want to possibly do it again.
So having the microscopic points thought out ahead of time is a good idea. The Five Ws—who, what, where, and why—are a good place to start when planning your threesome.
4. Negotiate Everyone’s Collective Communication
Are you doing all the talking for everyone, and setting it up? Are the other participants cool with each other, or is this mostly a fantasy idea of yours? Do they want to have their own relationship or connection after they are all with you in the threesome? How would you feel about that, and have you told them? Have you talked about threesome expectations and boundaries, in person or on the phone?
These are last level questions that you will have to answer to clear the air and allow your threesome dreams to begin moving towards Memoryville from Fantasyland. It takes a lot of courage, patience, organization and consideration. But with clear communication, you can make threesomes become a surprising part of your dream life!
xoxo,
Addi Stewart
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