Just the Tips

Are You Ready for a Threesome?

Woman in Polka Dot Panties

There isn’t an Official Checklist for a Successful Threesome. I could try and write one, but it would be only applicable to a limited number of sexxxy scenarios.

Every single sexual encounter is essentially different from the last one, even if a wife feels like her hubby has been doing the exact same thing for years. (Does he actually have the exact same number of strokes, use all the same positions, use all the exact same moves, and ejaculate exactly the same as yesterday? If so, OY VAY! And I’m sorry, my dear.) 

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A threesome WILL fail to be a Perfect Memory if you don’t have all your affairs in order. Literally and figuratively, ha ha!

Questions for a Successful Threesome

Do you have a clean, safe place to fuck?

Do you all have the same information as for when the fuck fun is going down?

Does everyone feel okay today?

Has everyone been checked for STIs and such things?

Do we have the required prophylactics for the occasion?

If condoms break, do people have alternate plans and options to protect themselves?

If someone feels like stopping half way, is that okay with everyone?

Are we cool with sleeping over after, or are some people going home?

Is there a place I can have a shower when we’re done fucking?

Is it okay if the focus ends up on being on one person more than another?

Does the place have Netflix so we can chill out and watch something after we’re done fucking?

There is an infinite amount of variables and questions that should be answered by everyone. If these questions don’t get answered, some people may have reservations and regrets, or they will immediately stop the scene and ask for a break, if not dial down their devotion to the duties being developed by the delicious dalliance.

Some people rush headlong into a threesome and don’t ask any questions of themselves or anyone else, thinking that the scantest dialogue can secure a perfect dream come true, as if the only thing that needs to be discussed is “Are we gonna have a threesome?”

Nevertheless, the alternate response is equally undesired for the desireable: don’t talk yourselves out of your dream event! Some people discuss and debate and delineate and deconstruct every microscopic alternate reality to the point that they get analysis paralysis and don’t move towards the goodies. NYET, mi amors!

Shit or get off the pot! Kiss or hush your lips! It may take days, weeks, months, or longer to find the people you feel safe about having a threesome with. No problemo, captain. Don’t just fuck any two strangers because you want to mange le ménage à trois. That’s a recipe to live a sex life feeling très bien désolé! Sadness often abounds from that decision when it’s made without enough emotional maturity and risk-reward resolve, except for the more advanced and emotionally armored amorous, or for the very lucky and rare groin gamblers!

9 Tips for a Successful Threesome

Ultimately, once you have found the people that your intuition feels most right about romping in the sheets with, and you have done the requisite research and quality assurance background checks on their emotional and sexual security… then don’t take forever and a day finding a place to try putting everybody’s yummy bits together!

Just make sure you have as many of your fuck ducks in a row as you can imagine swimming in your consciousness and your soul…

Because ONE thing wrong can fuck it ALL up!

What if the unicorn woman between everyone has to go home early because she forgot she has to work at 10 am tomorrow? THEN THE DREAM IS DEAD!

One little thing can fuck up a huge dream.

IT’S WORTH IT TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.

More threesomes happen that way!

In multiplying love,
Addi Stewart

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