As far as I’m concerned, a threesome can happen anywhere, anytime, and with people you may not have ever considered getting naked with. Such unexpectedly serendipitous sex-troikas are threesomes at their most porno-authentic. And as a true-blue 3sum’er, I can’t help but endorse this sort of scenario.
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But, yes, I get it, for most people, a threesome is not an habitual thing, but rather a capital-E event. And not only will spontaneity simply not do, it’s trumped by a preference for freshly laundered linens.
So ladies, shave your legs, and gentlemen, clip your toenails, and everyone take note of some basics.
Tips on Preparing for Group Sex
Safe Location
If you’re not the kind of person who feels comfortable dropping your underpants just anywhere, then you’ll want to put some thought (and have a say) into where this party will be going down. Remember: just because you know your own home best, that doesn’t necessarily mean you want your 3sum partners to know your address. Your turf can also mean a place of your choosing. Choose a location you’re comfy with.
Essential Supplies
You know how pregnant women have a hospital bag packed and at the ready? Well, the same goes for sexcapaders. Fill your bag with: condoms, water-based lube, massage oil, a clean towel, puppy-pads (for squirters), a toothbrush and toothpaste. And always keep a dildo handy.
Apéritifs
Pre-sex drinks and/or pre-sex party favors can help you relax in a possibly unnerving (if you’re new to threeomes) situation and even heighten the sex rush. BUT… they can also make you stupid, and lower your inhibitions to the point of… well, making you stupid. Be smart before you get stupid.
Ground Rules
Anything you don’t want to happen? Anything you won’t do? What level of discretion is expected? What about pics? Video? Better decide your ground rules up front.
Safe Words
Before a single drop of 3sum juice is spilled, choose a safe word. This is your “when I say (insert safe word here) stop whatever you’re doing because it hurts or I don’t like it” directive. Whatever you do, don’t choose fuck, stop, please, hurt, or some other such encouraging command. I highly recommend a bit of googling before game time.
Post-Sex Victuals
I dunno about the rest of you, but sex (especially group sex) makes me ravenous! Have food at the ready! And there’ll be three different mouths to feed, so who knows who will be craving what. My most popular offerings have always been an assortment of caviar (the cheap stuff will do), Doritos, vanilla ice cream, smoked salmon ’n’ capers, and rhubarb jam on toast. I can’t explain the incongruity, so don’t even ask.
Go Team Go!
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