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Desperate Measures for Desperate Threesomes

Man Caressing Woman in front of Mirror

If you want to have a threesome, but you feel like it isn’t even a subject you can mention to the wife without getting in trouble… there are a range of options.

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The wife or girlfriend who says no is never going to change, so just have an affair with a younger hottie and forget about it. We all know that some people lose their desire to ever fuck again once they get domestic security. Once you get past all the bullshit about church and state, there’s no reason why you should stop having fun.

I mean, divorce could be a pain in the ass. You might be tied up in a house together and have a couple of kids on the go. So what? There’s no reason your dick needs to be help prisoner. Explore your options. Don’t let her dictate the terms of your happiness. The French have been doing things this way for generations, centuries.

Couples therapy is a waste of time in my opinion. Being told that the magic is gone is just a delaying tactic to make you jump through hoops for a few years trying to please her even more while her vagina has no intention of ever getting wet again. If she doesn’t want you, just sort your shit out another way.

Ladies, does your man have a dick that won’t ride to the occasion? Maybe he watches too much porn. Maybe he drinks too much. Maybe he’s diabetic and doesn’t know it. Whatever. You gotta have that cock inside you. Doesn’t matter if you gotta fuck the milkman, or somebody at the office. Just get it done, and get it in you.

Ladies and gents: the down-low means the down-low. You should always make sure that you arrange affairs that won’t interfere with your domestic happiness. Keep those secrets secret. Don’t make your significant other feel like a chump, or publicly humiliated.

Keeping things secret is an amazing game, and can offer challenges and fun to your life. One important aspect is that if your secret lover starts to get possessive, then it’s time to cut the cord and find another person to tango with in the sheets. It’s time to find another person to dance the mattress mambo.

University students are great because they always need money and sundry items. They can make classic mistresses in the sense that the exchange is always going to be strictly goods for services, and no love need be exchanged. The pool boy will always be there to clean the pool, and any back rubs he exchanges in the meantime, back at the cabana, are strictly off the books!

Maybe you’re lucky enough to be in an open relationship, which is preferable to any risky affair. If you are, please share your story in the comments!

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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