Just the Tips

Equality in Group Sex Encounters

Woman with Pants Undone

Yeah yeah yeah… I know we’re talking about the magnificent mini-paradise that is the threesome here, and I do my utmost best to not slander the sacred and glorious thing that is the triumphant triumverate of touch that is thy threesome encounter! Oh, let my eternal praise for such deliciousness not be taken for granted or underappreciated, NAY!

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BUT…

Sometimes, once in a while, occasionally, and here and there, the saying “useless as a third wheel” applies, and someone has to say the shitty thing that nobody wants to say, and someone has to do the thing that nobody wants to do. And hot damn, Lord Shiva knows that when it comes to sexy-time situations, it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t!

It sucks, but what sucks more: a feeling of regret that you didn’t enjoy as much as perfect post-coital orgasmic blurry bliss because you didn’t have the genitalial fortitude to blurt out, before bodies became sticky and suctioned together, that you weren’t exactly feeling like feeling someone’s presence in your presence tonight, or that you changed your mind about something that you previously felt, or that you aren’t feeling everyone in the situation for some new reason you can’t deny.

YUP.

Especially in a sexy scenario bigger than a threesome, this may happen. I’ve been in many foursomes where one of the guys isn’t really that invested in one of the women, and thus he ends up kinda keeping to himself except for who he arrived to the pleasure party with, and nobody else.

It’s kinda crappy when the fun isn’t circulated relatively evenly amongst enthusiasts, but it happens sometimes, and someone has gotta just pull the person to the side and say, “Hey, no hard feelings, but… she isn’t feeling like playing with anyone else but her friend tonight… hope you’re okay to just stick to these particular boundaries with that person… thanks for understanding, yo.”

YES.

That’s the only reply you should really even have, if you’re on the humble end of the limitation announcement. It happens to everyone at one point or another, even some women (but not nearly as much, cause let’s just state the statistical dominant fact: the women are quite often the sexual unicorn in many multi-body erotic mashups, and it’s all. to. the. good. to me!)

But I’ve been in some multi-body sex parties where one woman has no interest in touching some of the other women for one reason or another, and even though a number of men out there dream for few things more often than watching two or three or more women play with each other (and them be naked and present and allowed some degree of interaction too, obviously), it doesn’t always go that way, bro.

For X,Y and Z reasons, boundaries can, and will be made by anyone for any purpose, and never need any justification. Just say to someone (as softly as possible): “I just ain’t feeling it today… cool?”

BOOM.

The truth is always cool. That’s literally what makes polyamory SO FUCKING COOL. You can tell the truth and it’s okay! Sex still happens. Haw!

In love and truth,
Addi Stewart

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