The rules for whether or not to share a sexploit are always more or less the same. One, does the other party (parties) want the world to know? And two, does the person or people I’m telling care or need to know? That’s it, really. The answer to these questions always dictates the answer with magical accuracy! Try it.
Yes. When it’s a lifestyle.
If you’re in a polyamorous relationship that includes three people, and your Facebook says “It’s complicated,” you’ll need to simplify things by telling people what they need to know. (Assuming, of course, that all parties are in the open about the arrangement.)
This is not quite the same as swapping salacious stories in the locker room, but when Granny asks why you have two girlfriends, it might be time to explain to her that the three of you are in a committed, loving relationship.
If the relationship is primarily a sexual arrangement, your grandmother probably doesn’t have to know. But it’s okay to let your bestie in, provided, again, that everyone’s okay with divulging.
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Yes. It’s anonymous.
We understand, you can’t always keep the good news to yourself. But you can be discreet being indiscreet, if the who’s who of the other two in the three-way are not identifiable. You met a nice married couple online and had a hot weekend with them, and you want to share your adventures with some of your best buds. And they’re dying to know about it.
No. It’s awkward.
On the other hand, if the nice married couple you serviced on that bearskin rug at the lodge was your co-worker and her husband, forget about spilling the beans. Word travels fast and even if you don’t point out who it was, you’ll make your playmates uncomfortable. Better to hold onto a naughty, delicious secret than risk never, ever being tied up at the office again.
Yes. You’re caught red-handed.
So, somehow, the worst happens, and your girlfriend’s sister walks in on an x-rated re-enactment of The Love Boat at the family pool.
While this scene might be hot in the movies, in real life, it will probably involve your girlfriend wrapping herself up in a towel and sobbing, while the pool boy runs for his life. You are stuck like a deer in headlights with your pants down and your wrists tethered to the diving board. It’s not looking good.
There’s only one way to play this- you rise to the occasion and do the talking.
“We’re sorry, Steph, that you had to see this. We were sure everyone was overseas and wouldn’t be back until Monday. Give us ten minutes to clean up and get dressed, and we’ll leave for awhile so you can collect your bearings.”
No. It was a private affair.
It was your girlfriend’s idea, or her special favor to you. Respect her privacy. Period.
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