This one’s tricky. I’m conflicted.
By confidentiality we often mean anonymity. Some people simply don’t want their threesome selves to be discovered (for whatever reason, which is fine).
Easy enough:
- Make no reference to your real identity in your online profile.
- Use a separate email address that doesn’t include your name.
- Don’t post a pic (although without one you may have a hard time hooking up, so at the very least you’ll post a dark ’n’ fuzzy.)
- Don’t host the party.
- While at the party use a fictional alter ego.
Trouble is… this approach doesn’t make for the most rewarding threesomes.
Considering likeability and trust are the cornerstones of awesome group sex, it’s not so easy to reach when one person in the troika is off on his or her own little island. How can communication be fostered when you don’t even know who the third person really is?
Of course there’s another option. Maybe you’re good enough to create a completely believable alter ego for the purposes of having group sex. You show up and you’re likeable, funny, and great in bed. You lead them to believe that you are who you say you are. They agree to maintain confidentiality.
Then you run into them on the street while you’re with your friends. Chances are you’ll ignore them to protect yourself. Then you can kiss the perfect threesome goodbye—all because you’d taken confidentiality round an unhelpful bend.
I hereby argue that confidentiality should remain (if chosen to do so) a group effort: you trust and care enough for each other that you’ll be honest about yourselves and respect each other’s privacy with a pact of confidentiality. Because if the partners you meet don’t know you, then you can be sure they will talk about you.
It’s an odd dichotomy: open up and they’ll keep your secrets.
And invite you back for more.
Go Team Go!
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