Just the Tips

Threesome Pet Peeves of Women

Woman Pulling on Pink Undies

As awesome as a threesome is or has the potential of being, there is always room for improvement. Here’s a few insider tips from women that will help you be a popular threesome partner.

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Stop Pestering

Jennifer, 25, decided to indulge her boyfriend’s fantasy for a threesome for his birthday last fall. 

“It was super hot. I had the time of my life. It was something I really wanted to share with him.”

The problem? “Now we barely ever have sex because every time it’s the same old thing, him pestering about why we aren’t having another threesome. We barely start fooling around, and he’s saying, “I’m thinking of you and your girlfriend wrapping your tits around my cock.'”

Jen says he’s asked her every day about the next three-way. “A little gratitude would go much further, and probably have gotten me into another few three-ways.”

Being pestered is a huge turn off. Now Jen’s actually thinking of leaving him and looking for a man who wants to be with her. She’ll probably treat the new guy to an extra woman now and again if he doesn’t pester and plead.

Take Care of Your Tootsies

You think we talk about your penis size behind your back, but really, we talk about your feet!

Leaving your socks on when you get naked is not a good look for us to get revved up to. If those socks are hiding fungus, broken toenails, stinky feet, cracked heels, and corns—do something about it.

“I’ll tell you this right now,” says Joy, 22, “All the things you worry about—dick size, hairlines, muscles—are nothing compared to this. If you can’t be bothered to take care of your foot problems, why do you think you can get into bed with one woman, never mind two?”

You can’t help it if you have funny toes, and I think funny toes are cute. Everyone has a bunion or a wide foot or something hobbity. I don’t care about that.

I care about hygiene, not getting my eye poked out by a gross and jagged toenail. “Buy a pumice stone,” Joy says, “and if you don’t know what you’re doing, go and get a pedicure.” Yes, get yourself to a talon salon!

Not Taking No For an Answer

No means no, whether I’m your wife of forty-four years, or the hottie you met online an hour ago.

A woman might have a great reason for saying no to a threesome.

Maybe she has no interest, and isn’t turned on by the idea.

Maybe she’s old fashioned.

Maybe she’s too wild, and prefers hardcore fetishes to the three-way hookup.

Maybe she’s tried them and wasn’t into it. Maybe she’s not horny. Maybe she knows you’re being selfish. Maybe she’s on the rag. Maybe she wants to wait.

Maybe she wants to have threesomes with other people, not you. Sorry.

One way to guarantee it will always be a “no” is to not accept my “no” tonight.

Kissing and Telling

When 31-year-old Angie walked into her company’s lunch room, she thought the snickering was all in her head. She couldn’t believe it when some of the guys from Kevin’s department started to make jokes about “lining up.”

We know you want to tell the whole world you had a threesome. You want your friends to know how hot it was. But you can do real harm to a person’s privacy, reputation, and even safety.

The only time it’s ever okay to talk about a three-way with me or my girlfriends is if I’ve given you express permission, or if it’s vague, unnamed and abstract to people I don’t know.

Now it’s your turn—what are your pet peeves?

Tell us what you think!

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