Threesome Sleepover Etiquette: Dos and Don’ts

Should you stay or should you go?

Sleepovers after threesomes are tricky to navigate. You don’t want to overstay your welcome, but you don’t want to come off as if you just dropped by to deposit a load.

Playing it by ear seems to make sense—after all, every threesome is different, and so much depends on chemistry and situation.

But reading the signs during and after sex is notoriously difficult. We’re not in our right minds when hopped up on all those hormones, and messages get mixed.

On the other hand, planning to stay or assuming you should take off can both come off totally wrong and leave someone uncomfortable.

Threesome Sleepover Dos and Dont’s

DO follow her lead.

It goes without saying that the woman or women in the threesome have the ultimate word. She is not obligated to stay over or to have anyone stay at her place.

DON’T show up without asking first about the sleepover.

Communication is always key. While you can’t always plan the chemistry or whether or not you all want to sleep together, bringing up the possibilities in advance can make everyone more comfortable.

You can find out where each person stands on the subject in general, rather than trying to predict this specific scenario. Simply asking what everyone’s preference usually is in this situation is considerate. If you all have a different answer, it’s good to know about it in advance.

DON’T hesitate to make your preference clear.

Stating your preference doesn’t mean it will automatically be how things go. But if you’d like a couple to stay over after, invite them in advance and let them know you’d love to indulge them with breakfast in bed. They might decline, but they’ll know you’re open to it.

If you know you want to fly solo afterwards, let them know you won’t plan on staying: “I usually cap things off around midnight to make sure I can get home to let Fido out. Does that work for you?”

DON’T impose yourself on anyone.

Even if you think you’ll sleep like a baby in between two babes, understand that won’t necessarily happen.

DO let the couple set the terms.

If your trilogy includes a couple, let their relationship take priority. They may want to focus on each other for the rest of the night. Their boundaries may not include an all nighter. Respect relationships. You signed up for something and don’t expect more. Don’t impose unexpected extras on them.

DO come prepared.

If you’re invited for sweet dreams, a sunrise Jacuzzi skinnydip, and the breakfast of champions, the last thing you want is to be up the creek without a toothbrush.

You don’t need to show up with a sleeping bag, camping gear, and a flight-worthy luggage set. But a toothbrush and clean underwear fit nicely into a small bag. If you’re driving, you can keep a kit like this in your trunk just in case.

DO have basic amenities on hand to make your guests comfortable.

What if you are hosting a threesome, and both girls want to stay over but didn’t plan on it in advance? Always have clean towels and sheets, clean t-shirts in different sizes, and a few new toothbrushes on hand.

What threesome sleepover tips would you add? Please share in the comments!

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