In fantasies and pornography, threesomes just happen naturally. People who are just hanging out suddenly all decide to get it on.
Someone might be at home minding their own business and the first two people who happen to randomly come by that day—a neighbor looking to borrow tools, and a cosmetics sales lady, for example—will all end up in the hot tub together.
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In truth, though, it takes a lot of planning and mental preparation to have a threesome. I mean they can happen naturally, but mostly they get planned and talked about in advance.
Threesome Considerations
Talk about trust. For a couple looking to add a third person, there is the question of trust. Having another person around can bring up jealousy issues for people who aren’t 100% secure with each other. Nobody really knows how they’re going to feel watching their partner with someone else—turned on or horrified—until it is happening.
Discuss boundaries. You might not want to end up in a situation where someone is pushing you to go further than you want, or in a situation where your partner wants to go further, but you can’t handle that happening. The most obvious example would be with vaginal penetration. It can be a very meaningful event and a lot of emotions can be tied up in it. Sometimes it’s better to know in advance whose vagina is on or off the table, or whose cock is allowed to go where.
Pick the right partner. Both people have to feel comfortable and safe with the third person. This can mean a lot of vetting and selecting. Three people have to come to terms on something and that is never an easy thing. On the one hand, a lot of excessive talking and worrying about getting it on can kill the spontaneity and joy. On the other, a bad threesome can fuck up relationships and friendships.
Decide who the threesome is for. A friend, who is a threesome veteran, suggests that threesomes can often be put together in such a way that one person is the recipient of pleasure from the other two, or that everybody takes shifts being the subject of pleasure while the other two please. This means that nobody gets left out, and everyone is busy all the time doing something.
Like anything in life, if you prepare yourself in advance then you will be ready and fit to proceed when opportunities come up. And the more prepared you are, the more likely it will be that you will seize those opportunities when they come!
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