A good friend of mine is a self-proclaimed threesome expert, having been in a number and watched a good many more as a spectator. He said he wanted to weigh in on the subject of bad threesomes. I will forward what he wrote here, before adding my own thoughts. Bear in mind that some of his answers are tongue in cheek (though whose tongue in which cheek, we don’t know).
Things I Learned from Bad Threesomes
- How to speak three languages.
- Some condoms are just too big.
- Expectations aren’t a good idea.
- I should be careful not to butt dial my work.
- A standard prenup does not cover three people.
- How to cure scabies naturally.
- How to cure ring worm with antibiotics.
- Three is a crowd, and where there’s a crowd, there’s Jesus.
- How to keep an erection during a sexual election.
- Having two partners equals ten thousand times more drama.
- How to explain your feelings in the exact amount of time it takes to make a sandwich.
- How to multi-task while multi-tasking.
I would add to this: If you have poor facial recognition skills, it can cause a lot of headaches a week later when you meet a person in public that you fucked less than a week ago and don’t remember who they are!
The regret from a bad threesome can hang over you for a long time. I know that I’ve had people admit to me that they were in a threesome with “X” and I was like, “Seriously? Why the fuck would you go to bed with that person?” Liquor is an amazing drug!
Having a threesome with somebody is a great way to reveal their character. If they’re selfish or just not that into you, or whatever the case may be, it will come out in the bedroom (or park or closet). If they or you have low sexual confidence, it will come out.
If you’re just not that into another man’s semen, you will quickly discover this as you are being sprayed across the face by his friendly fire. If you have even the slightest issue with jealousy or your partner does, this will all come to light quickly in group sex encounters.
Remember, a bad threesome is not all bad. Through the not-so-great sexual experiences (just like crappy relationships) you can reflect and glean important information that can ultimately help you to avoid certain situations or types of people, when looking for positive future threesome experience.
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