I write a lot about sex. I talk a lot about sex. And I enjoy having a lot of sex. And I get to hear from others about their sexual experiences, threesomes included. While nothing is absolute, there are some truths that get mentioned time and time again.
5 Threesome Truths Explained
1. Women want MMF threesomes as much as you want FFM threesomes.
When we see threesomes depicted in books and movies and porn, it predominantly involves two women and a man. And a lot of guys grow up thinking that’s the only kind, at least for them. More and more men are relaxing about exploring their bi-side, but a lot of dudes still fear getting close to another naked man. Yet they still expect women to jump at the chance at sex with other women.
I would love to have two men stimulate and fawn over me at once. My go-to fantasy has one man suckling my nipples while the other laps at my vagina, both slowly until I’m on the verge of coming, pulling back for a few moments, and then switching spots.
2. The more you plan ahead, the more success you will have.
We all would love that spontaneous threesome that is featured in movies, where two gals lead you off to a bedroom on the second floor of a frat house party. But, let’s be real, it rarely goes down that way. It can happen, but like most things in life, a little planning goes a long way.
Planning might include long conversations with your partner about boundaries and expectations. It may also include a discussion with a possible third about everyone’s expectations. Don’t wait until you’re in the throes to find out no one want’s to wear the strap-on you brought!
3. Threesome sex with people you know isn’t worth the risk.
Most of us have a crush on someone in our lives—a co-worker, a neighbor, the local barista, your con-ed teacher—but do you really think it’s a good idea to approach that crush about a fantasy group-sex encounter? It’s just not worth what may result: job loss, the end of a friendship, having to walk that extra block to another coffee shop, or getting kicked out of class. And, there are many reasons to keep your threesomes discreet.
I prefer an anonymous threesome with people I’ve met online because I know from the start that we’re all on the same page about what we’re looking for—a hornier-than-hell hookup that scratches that fantasy itch.
4. Keeping your expectations low will make it more enjoyable.
If you’ve been fantasizing for years about having a threesome—two women taking turns blowing you, licking each other’s nipples, taking turns sitting on your face—you may be disappointed by how things really unfold. Even when you think you’re sure, maybe because how turned on you all seem beforehand, there are so many unexpected pitfalls that can arise.
My first FFM threesome involved my best girlfriend when we were in our twenties. We had talked about it for years, and when we finally brought home a hot guy it was not what we had planned in our heads. We kissed but neither of us wanted to go down on the other, and I ended up feeling like a third wheel and eventually left them to it. If there had been no previous expectations, I think it would have been more enjoyable for all.
5. Reflecting on every threesome makes the next one better, and so on.
Don’t let one bad threesome (this is a very big spectrum, and one person’s bad threesome may well be another’s absolute dream situation) spoil you for life. There’s a lot of moving parts (body parts included!) when it comes to group-sex encounters, and much of it is beyond your control. When you embrace the unknown, it can be a lot more enjoyable. It helps to avoid thinking about the “what ifs” or playing the blame game when things don’t go just so.
Getting older has certainly helped me take sex a whole lot less seriously—it all seems so important and precious when you are younger. Sure, sex can be deep and meaningful and intense, but it can also be fun and awkward and full of unexpected surprises. Don’t dwell on the fuck ups, but take a lesson or two moving forward.
What threesome truth have you learned along the way in your sexual adventures?
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