I feel lucky that my first threesome was before the age of the internet (I’m old, but not that old) because it happened very organically with a friend and someone we picked up at a bar. It wasn’t something we had planned, and thus there was no time to build expectations.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet and online dating. I met my current partner on a dating site, and that’s where we’ll go if we decide to have group sex. It’s an easy way to find what you’re looking for when it comes to casual hookups or relationships.
Now, just because it’s easy to meet potential partners and arrange group sex through niche dating sites, it doesn’t mean it’s all going to go exactly as planned. Let’s face it, there’s too many outside variables to account for.
By lowering your expectations in advance (or at least keeping them in check) you are more likely to enjoy the group experience you’ve been fantasizing about.
3 Reasons to Lower Expectations
1. Your New Lover(s) May not Match Their Profile.
Truth is that most people you meet on dating sites don’t measure up to their dating profile. This isn’t necessarily the fault of the person (although it could be if they’re using ten-year-old profile pics) but because it’s not easy writing and being objective about ourselves.
Think about your profile or the couple’s profile you wrote with your partner. Is it a realistic portrayal. Is it as honest as it could be? I’m a big believer in updating dating profiles on the regular to keep it as real as possible.
2. Your Fantasy Won’t Be Crushed
Threesome sex is a BIG fantasy, the number one of men, so sexpectations are hard to contain. If you’ve never engaged in group sex, you’ve probably played it out like a mini-movie in your mind a million times. Guess what? It won’t look like that, so go in expecting nothing, so that no matter what you will have some satisfaction.
3. Your Nerves Won’t Get the Best of You
Online dating isn’t easy, especially for someone who is shy or suffers from anxiety. This stress is often doubled if it comes to being with more than one partner. Lowering expectations can help soothe the soul before such wild adventures.
Another tip for pre-hookup anxiety is to spend the hours previous the same way you would prepare for something like a job interview, whether that means working out, listening to your fave music, or having a long hot shower.
How do you mentally prepare for a threesome? Please share your tips in the comments!
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