Couples Advice

How to Make a Threesome Happen

Man Kissing Woman in Red Lipstick

If you and your partner have someone in mind for a threesome, then you might need a little finesse to bring up the topic and get them naked. Some people will be ready as soon as you mention it, others just need a couple of puffs or sips and then they’re good to go.  

Some people, though, need to be coaxed a little. They want to do it, but they haven’t yet realized they’re that kind of person… or they haven’t realized yet that you and your partner want to take them to that place.

Tips for Making a Threesome Happen

1. Keep the conversation casual. If the person is over at your place, you and your partner should just talk casually about polyamory and threesomes. Make it sound natural. See if they ask questions or get excited about it, see if it piques their interest.  

If the person refers to it seeming gay, then there’s a possibility it won’t work (or maybe it will…) The math dictates that at least two people will have some similar body parts. Those body parts need to be touched and pleasured.

2. Flirt with a possible third in front of your partner, or have your partner flirt. Try some same-sex flirting and see what happens. Don’t do this in a slimy way. Flirtation is an art and if it’s playful and not pushy, it can be a delightful (and high stakes) game to play.

Bad flirtation is harassment. Good flirtation is sexy. You can only learn the difference between the two by practice and observation. It helps to read the signs on another person’s face and in their body, but you’ll never be sure until you go for that kiss!

3. Invite the person over a lot to get comfortable. Have them cuddling with you on the couch, have them lie in bed and watch movies with you. Normalize the physical contact. Skinny dipping in the pool is great nonsexual activity that can be very arousing. 

4. Be sexual in front of them. Kiss or touch your partner and look right at your friend as you do so. Give them sultry looks that indicate you want them to jump on the pile.  

5. Have a drink or two to relax and lower inhibitions. This is a time honored tradition. Some people might want to take it to another level… eat mushrooms and spend a night locked together in a cabin. Whatever floats the boat. Respect your process and those around you.

Try these tips, but remember, many threesomes or group sex experiences unfold naturally when you least expect them to. It’s often about being with the right two people at the right time.

If and when you realize your potential third is not into what you and your partner had in mind, let go and move on. There’s plenty of guys and gals who would love to join the party! 

Read: Are You Ready for a Threesome?

Where do you and your partner meet thirds for threesomes?

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