Q & A

Threesome Blues: She’s In It for the Chicks

Man Caressing Woman in front of Mirror

Dear Jamie,

I’ve been with Katja for four years now and have worked really hard to be the kind of guy who is worthy of such an amazing woman. We have a lot in common, enough differences to keep independent spirits, and have discovered and explored new things together sexually. Something neither of us did before but both fantasized about was having a threesome, and our relationship felt secure enough to explore that adventure.

So, over the last year or so we’ve had a handful of threesomes, with a couple of different girls. It was really exciting, we all got along great, and had really hot sex.

As I’m writing this I’m realizing it doesn’t sound like much of a problem. The reason I guess it’s a problem is because I think Katja is so into these threesome scenes because of the women. When we talked about inviting someone into our bedroom, neither of us were interested in expanding our repertoire with a guy—the threesome was FFM.

Of course guys love this idea, but she was really into it and told me straight out that she’d always been attracted sexually to women but had never been with one. That turned me on, but now I’m wondering if her ongoing interest in having threesomes is because she’s in it for the chicks. What do you think? – Chris

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Dear Chris,

Yes, I do think she’s in it for the chicks. And, Houston, we don’t have a problem!

It’s always good to write down our questions and think them out carefully. You noticed yourself the problem resolving itself as you wrote to me! The problem started to sound like not much of a problem, and that’s the answer right there.

You have an amazing, committed woman. You’re having great sex together. You love each other. And she wants regular threeways with you and other girls.

You are in the golden ratio, my friend. You have hit the jackpot. You have what many men would die for. You are the luckiest guy on earth.

What else would she be in the threesome for, but the other woman? You, too, are “in it for the chicks.” Right?

If she was in it to turn you on, you would have one or two threesomes, and then she wouldn’t much care to keep participating in them. If she was in it to get fucked by another man, she’d ask for an MMF threesome. If she was in it for the curiosity and wasn’t very turned on by making love with other women, your threesomes would now be over—a pleasant and distant memory.

This is winning, Chris!

The subtext of course is that you’re worried she’s discovering she’s more into women than men, or more specifically, you. That’s unlikely. I’m a woman who gets super turned on by girls, but it can’t replace my main attraction and need, which is a man.

If your relationship is strong, the sex is intimate and not aloof, and she’s not looking for reasons to spend less time with you, there is zero indication that she wants to replace you with pussy.

My friend, you have struck gold. Enjoy it! – Jamie

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