Stories

Jealousy from Outside Your Threesome

Sexy Woman in Yellow Bra Top

I have a perplexing situation. One of my lovers is super ravenous, and we’ve had amazing sex for about a year now. She says she’s ready to share our love and passion, and I feel like it might happen one day. But there is a major obstacle to it so far.

Our obstacle has been her insecurity around a threesome I had recently with two other lovers, which was absolutely spectacular. I am totally polyamorous, so the day after the perfect threesome, I told this other lover, and she was not really happy hearing about it, even though I was over the moon with joy about how great it was.

I tried to walk the line between telling the truth and not too much truth, but also not denying myself the freedom of saying what my heart wanted to share. I don’t feel jealousy about hearing other lovers’ moments with other men or women, so I don’t care how much or how little they want to tell me.

I practice compersion as often as I can, and it’s a muscle that is stronger each time it’s flexed and lifts the weight of learning about other lovers parallel to you. Problem is, if you don’t exercise this muscle, it gets weak, and can’t lift even one moment of truth. I don’t have this problem. I’ve been exercising my compersion muscles for twenty years, consistently!

So I’m happy to hear about my lovers with other lovers, and I’m ready to share myself with two others as soon as possible. But this lover isn’t ready, yet, although she says she is. I feel the sex is ready to be shared, but the philosophy and emotion around threesomes isn’t there yet.

And it’s WAY better to wait for it to be ready, REALLY ready, instead of forcing something before it’s time and spoiling the fruit of the threesome relationship experience.

Patience. Patience. And a bit of persistence. But mostly, patience… and love.

Addi Stewart

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