Stories

Keeping a Threesome All Inclusive

Woman Wrapped in Satin

If I’m going to ride out the metaphor thing all the way, then that’s what I’m gonna do! Sometimes, they explain things better than actual storytelling can, because I just can’t add all the details about everyone all the time, nahmean?

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It’s not nice to name names, and I gotta keep certain incriminating details vague, so that’s why I speak in dripping wet tongues and mysterious metaphors sometimes. Work with me people, I’m doing the best I can. So yeah, this is a new one, but I think it works.

Normally, when we’re trying to get our threesome on, we want to aim for some kind of equal-energy exchange, and have a 33-33-33 triangular pyramid balance of energy channelling around, with that extra one percent being sacrificed to the Gods and Goddesses of Sex (always a worthy cause to donate to, trust me).

Once in a while, and hopefully not more often than not, you can get caught up in a polygonal, oblong-shaped balance of energy, where it’s some weird jagged thingy like some rock out of that old game Asteroids, or some weird geometric shape in grade seven math class, and the sides are all out of proportion, like 43-43-13, and it’s nothing like an equal pyramid at all.

Sometimes, two people are just way more into each other than all three, and that’s how the whole damn ride is played out. Occasionally, some people are cool with it, and the person that’s third wheel is happy to be along for the ride. Sometimes, the jealousy ogre comes a creeping in through the back window and jumps on the back of the elephant in the room, mucking up the whole proceedings, and making emotions get all sad face and face palm.

Whether it’s solved during the threesome, and the two people who have a more-than-normal connection want to oblige the imbalance and just shift things for the sake of paying tribute to the threesome moment (often just until they can get alone again and be a wild duo) or it’s solved afterwards with emotional assurance and intimate de-escalation. There are ways to deal with the reality that not all threesomes were dreamed equal.

The numbers can vary wildly and can shift multiple times during the proceedings, going in any and all directions, regardless of gender or original intention, but the fact remains that sometimes, two people are just into each other more than all three are.That’s often when a person just gotta kanyeshrug, brush ya shoulders off, and keep on fucking… I mean, trucking.

Being a third wheel in a threesome is better than being at home playing video games or any other number of choices available to us in modern life. LOL!

Honestly,
Addi Stewart

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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