Although I enjoy a good threesome once in a while, I’ve never gone out of my way to find one. I had a few back in my twenties that were more happenstance than anything else, with friends and acquaintances at parties. And in my thirties, I was flirting and experimenting with women, so it seemed to come naturally. In my forties, group sex encounters have been offered through poly men and couples I meet on dating sites.
I do acknowledge that it’s easier to find sex, of any kind, for most women, than it is for men. But there has been a shift with online dating sites, especially those that cater to adventurous singles, couples with open relationships, and the polyamory community. Here’s a few tips that will help you find a threesome if you are single.
6 Tips for Singles Looking for Couples
1. Look for Niche Dating Sites
I’ve met poly guys on mainstream dating sites, as well as other particular peeps like dom masters, but niche sites are the place to go if you are seriously interested in threesomes. For singles, I suggest FindaThreesome.com or CouplesDating.com.
There are a lot more non-monogamous folks out there than you think, but many of them like to keep it discreet through online dating. Sadly, key parties are mostly a thing of the past.
2. Express Your Desires in Your Profile
Maybe you are comfortable staying on your mainstream site, and that’s okay too. Either way, you should gear your profile towards finding group sex connections. Your interest can be something you sprinkle throughout your profile or put up front and center. You may even find couples with a joint profile.
Be open and honest in your intentions when you send messages—express desires, expectations, and boundaries.
3. Find a Polyamory Community
If you live in a rural town or small city, this may be difficult, but there are still online poly communities and resourceful sites to explore for information and connection, like Polyamory Today.
If you do live in a metropolitan area, there will be groups to choose from. My poly girlfriend says her group has monthly meetups for movies, dinners, and lectures.
4. Attend a Munch
A munch is an informal gathering of like minded individuals interested in a similar lifestyle, often BDSM and kink. These are usually very laid back and can be found online. There will be a moderator who facilitates the acceptance of new members and plans the get-togethers.
Munches are a way to meet people in the community, but without the pressure to even talk about sex or BDSM itself. Most groups even dissuade hookups with other members, but you can still expect to meet friends of friends for fun and adventure.
5. Visit a Sex Club
Similar to finding a poly community or munch, it helps to live in a big bustling city. I live in a metro, and I’m always hearing of new sex clubs that I didn’t know existed—they don’t hang a banner or wave a flag out front! These clubs are fun and open to everyone, often with theme nights that cater to poly peeps, women only, fetish, and more.
There are usually strict rules to follow that benefit everyone, like only approaching those wearing green wristbands. If you’re lucky you will be able to watch others having sex, even threesomes, and meet others interested. It can be intimidating for some, so I like to recommend bringing a gal pal the first time if you’re shy.
Where do you meet couples for threesomes and fun? Share in the comments!
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