In the middle of a shoulder-stand last week I thought it might be a good idea to pass along a handy-dandy checklist for those groupers who are new.
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Do yourself a favor and memorize these…
Dos and Don’ts for Group Sex Encounters
Do discuss boundaries beforehand. There are always rules, and no one wants to be hearing about surprise no-nos while seconds from an orgasm.
Don’t cross those boundaries. Not unless you want to be reading about yourself in the social media news pages the next morning.
Do disclose your communicables. Obviously, I would hope.
Don’t let us wake up the next morning to find something untoward on our once unblemished skin. Obviously, I would hope.
Do show up with a party-box of condoms. You’ll send the message that you’re safe-goods and ready for a big night.
Don’t show up expecting unsafe sex. You either play ball or will be asked to leave.
Do shower. Group sex hygiene is important, and I can’t believe I have to list this one but, trust me, I do. In fact…
Don’t expect others to love your musk. Shower beforehand, and let the musk you offer be that which was brewed after Round One. Shared musk is more welcome.
Do communicate. Nothing gets you what you want like asking for it.
Don’t zip-up. We can’t read your mind.
Do be a hog. It’s a very group-y thing for everyone to work on one lucky bugger at once.
Don’t be a hog. We want summa that, too.
Do show up with all your favorite toys. Introduce them to your friends and share!
Don’t use your toys without wrapping them. If you’re going to share your toys then slip them into a condom. Looks weird, but is way safer.
Do respect everyone’s privacy and confidentiality. Nothing wrong with everyone knowing each other—that doesn’t mean personal information should be shared at the water cooler.
Do not post pics of the event on Facebook. If I have to explain this one then you’re clearly not ready for group sex.
You won’t be new forever!
Go Team Go!
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