Just the Tips

Safety 101 for Your Kinky Threesomes

Woman Blindfolded and Handcuffed

Interested in adding some kink to your already frolicking three-way play adventures? Well, no matter the kink—bondage, domination and submission role plays, fetish delights, whips and crops, or spanking—there are important safety tips to always keep in mind, and gear to always have handy.

While BDSM can be fun and light, the core if it should always be treated seriously with boundaries negotiated before anything happens in your three-way kink play. So just don’t reach for that paddle or crop but, instead, ask and receive clear and concise consent to proceed. Ideally, this should be done before the action even starts but if it does come in after things get (ahem) “interesting,” then don’t just take a smile and a nod as an okay to proceed.

Essential Safety Tips for Kinky Threesomes

Consent, Consent, Consent

When you ask sexy play partners, “Would you like me to (fill in the kinky blank)?” and the answer isn’t along the lines of “Absolutely!” then thank the people you are playing with and move on. It’s as simple as that.

Also keep in mind that consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason. So if something happens you don’t like, then speak up. And if someone else does the speaking, then immediately stop what’s happening.

Safe Words

It’s also crucial to touch base with everyone involved as things are happening. It’s not hard—just ask! And, again, if things aren’t going along smoothly, then call a halt or take a break—use your safe word to make your point clear.

Similarly, if you don’t like what’s happening—or feel forced into play you don’t want—then call it quits and walk away. There’s no shame in setting and respecting a personal limit when it comes to BDSM, for both tops and bottoms.

Boundaries

Another key BDSM precept is that everyone involved with a scene come out the other end better than when they walked in. In short, BDSM is not about one person getting their jollies while others don’t. Negotiate boundaries and limits beforehand, and it’s almost guaranteed everyone will be walking away smiling.

While this is a quick rundown of what can feel like a rather complex issue, just keep your head clear, your lines of communication open, treat everyone with respect, and remember that BDSM is not only about leather, latex, and intensity, but also about having fun.

Critical Prevention

Does someone in your three-way need a certain medication, or need to eat or drink something if their blood sugar drops? Then always have what they need close by. It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised by the number of times someone forgets, and then ends up having to be rushed to the emergency room.

Escape Gear

If you’re going to try bondage first, above all else, be intimately aware of how to do it safely. And if you aren’t, don’t do it! Seriously, bondage can be risky and dangerous, so unless you know how to get into it without hurting someone or, even better, get them out of it, then try something else.

If you have learned about bondage, you know that keeping a pair of emergency scissors (also called paramedic shears) handy is never a bad idea. Ideally, they should never be farther away than a nightstand. Oh, and be sure and practice with them, so you can get anyone out of anything at a moment’s notice.

Emergency Contact

The last thing you should never be without is a way to call for help. Whether it’s a cell phone or a landline, it should be right there, and more importantly, never hesitate to use it! Sure, it might be initially embarrassing to call 911 because something unfortunate happened, but it’s a lot worse for someone to get critically injured because you didn’t call.

There’s a saying in the BDSM community that resonates perfectly here—”Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.” You will no doubt will be hearing this a lot more as you read up on kink and safety.

So when you’re using that cane, flogger, paddle, bondage gear, or just spanking with your hand, get consent, check in often, slow down or stop for any reason, have shears handy, and call for help when in doubt.

Do all this and your kinky three-way won’t just be a sexy wild time, but everyone involved will be healthy and happy , and hopefully want to do it again!

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