You no doubt hear all kinds of warnings and disaster stories about threesomes gone wrong or how forays into moresomes can cause conflict in a relationship.
There are risks involved when bringing new people into your romance. But for lots of couples, threesomes bring unique benefits.
How a Threesome Can Benefit Your Relationship
A new partner, shared, can rekindle attraction and libido.
It’s normal for the searing hot chemistry that couples enjoy in the first years of their relationship to grow tepid. You grow closer in many ways, but the sex drive plummets.
One or both of you might secretly want that flame to ignite again, but don’t want to wander.
A threesome introduces that chemistry again, bringing sexual intrigue and variety back into the bedroom. Even though it’s a new person for both of you, it’s one you’re sharing.
The revived desire benefits both of you, and can transfer into the bedroom one on one long after the threesome. Or it might be an ongoing situation, or even a throuple, allowing all the thrills of a hot new relationship, but involving each other.
Your wife can explore her lesbian side without having to leave you.
Lots of older women, or women who have been in a marriage or long-term relationship for a while, long to explore their sexuality. One of the most common fantasies or desires, and extracurricular affairs for women is being with another woman.
There’s something exciting about a woman making love to another woman, and most women want to experience it at some point in their lives. Her main attraction may continue to be for men, or for you, but still this curiosity is inside her, waiting to explode.
What if she has the opportunity to explore that, without having to leave you out of it? What if she can make love to a woman WITH you instead of without you?
Some open relationships choose only sex that includes primary partners.
If both of you are curious about sex with other people, but are reluctant to try polyamory or an open marriage, threesomes offer the chance to enjoy sex with new partners AND include each other. Lots of couples have an arrangement where they share all of their lovers.
New experiences and adventures can increase trust and intimacy.
Couples who share big experiences often get closer. Shared experiences increase bonding and intimacy.
Choosing to participate in each other’s pleasure in new sexual adventures can strengthen the bonds of a relationship.
A word of caution: having a threesome to try to save a failing marriage probably won’t work. Having a threesome to further glue a strong marriage can.
A threesome can be a beautiful gift if one partner has low desire.
If one partner has lower sexual desire and accepts the needs of his or her partner with a higher libido, that gift might mean saying yes to more partners. Polyamory can be a way to resolve a mismatched libido situation in a marriage. The partner with more intense sexual needs does not always have to be denied to match the needs of the one with less desire—instead, the door can be opened to allow more sex.
In some cases, threesomes will do double duty—they can help arouse the partner with less sexual interest to participate, and give the one with a high sex drive more access to sex.
Has a threesome benefited your relationship? Tell us about it!
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