Just the Tips

How to Arrange a Threesome

Woman on Phone in Bed

A hot girl walks into the bar. She sees you and your buddy from across the room, gives a cute little wave, begins a slow saunter over.

“You’re both so sexy,” she says, leaning over so you can both get an eyeful of her cleavage. “How can I choose? There’s only one answer. I want both of you, now.”

Think it can’t happen? You’re probably right.

The spontaneous threeway, initiated by two horny college girls begging you to join them, or one luscious lady looking to double her pleasure, MIGHT come to life. But threesomes are best arranged, planned, and strategized.

Planning is the key between fantasy and reality.

How to Arrange a Threesome

Be honest and direct about what you want.

There’s something to be said about seduction, flirtation, and sexy signals. But they are notoriously misinterpreted. You want potential partners to know exactly where you stand, and for them to express exactly what they are looking for.

I was at a club once where a guy was really coming on to me. He was with an attractive woman. At first I thought he was friendly, then I thought he was a douche. When I ran into his date in the ladies’ room, I casually mentioned that her man had been checking me out all night. “I asked him to,” she confessed. “I liked you, and was hoping you’d be open to a little fun with both of us.”

I had almost missed an amazing night by getting the signals wrong. Her telling me exactly what was up made the hookup possible.

If you’re like a lot of men, you don’t want to come on too strong or look like a creep. But being up front goes a long way. In person or online—tell it like it is.

Accept rejection as part of the process.

Just like all of us face a number of not-interested responses until we get a hit, don’t expect your first approach to land you in the middle of an adventurous couple. Not everyone is open to moresomes, will be in the mood, or find you the right fit if they are.

Be realistic about the possibilities.

In the movies, threesomes always involve Russian models or devastatingly handsome Saudi billionaires. Real-life threesomes happen with real people. If you ever wonder why some guys who are fifty or a five seem to get laid more often than you do, I can guarantee it’s because they are down to earth, fun to be with, and understand sex is for everyone, not just playboys and fragrance millionaires.

Conversely, if you can see beauty in everyone, you expand your horizons and broaden your chances exponentially.

Schedule ahead of time.

Once you’ve met your match of a couple or third, plan ahead on a day everyone is free. Give yourselves plenty of time to share a drink and some banter, get everyone comfortable and relaxed. A week or two from now is often best.

Use the time in waiting to anticipate the big event and get to know everyone by occasionally chatting online or on the phone. This nonsexual prelude is also a good time to discuss boundaries and limits.

Remember: Location, location, location.

If you’re joining a couple, you’ll probably plan on joining them in their lair. Make sure you bring their favorite wine or some other considerate hostess gift.

If someone is joining you and your girlfriend, attend to his or her comfort in advance by arranging a taxi and fresh linen and toiletries. First threesome dates might be most comfortable for all of you in a hotel, so no one feels stuck, or stuck with company longer than they want. Talk openly about what location works best for everyone.

Have you had the pleasure of a threesome? What helped make it happen for you?

Tell us what you think!

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