How to Be the Best Unicorn

You’ve stumbled onto the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, that mythic treasure chest you didn’t believe possible. Two blonde yoga instructors have invited you back to their place for some sexual healing.

Or maybe the windswept dude next door and his trophy wife, who can be heard howling and moaning like banshees at all hours, have finally asked you to join them in a hot threesome.

If you’re anxious before the party starts, just follow these common sense tips—you’ll have blast. These easy steps are your best investment in being invited back to the party.

Accept your position in the pecking order.

When you are the unicorn, you might feel like the center of attention, but you are there because the pleasure of the others sought you out.

If your hosts are decent, they will also care about your enjoyment. Even so, you are entering their fantasy. Maybe you have been invited to help fulfill one partner’s need for multiple partners or variety. Maybe she gets off on the idea of her husband touching another man. Maybe the yoga girls need the thrill of a stud to reach nirvana.

Whatever it is, play by their rules and don’t try to take over. You can communicate your needs and desires and boundaries, of course. But remember why you are there in the first place.

Be GGG.

The acronym by sex advice columnist Dan Savage for being a good sex partner or good lover means the same no matter what the circumstances—be good, giving and game.

Being good in bed means valuing the pleasure of your partners as much or more than your own, and being open to their needs while communicating your nonnegotiable boundaries effectively.

Don’t kiss and tell.

You might want to shout it from the mountaintops that you got your dick wet in Helen AND Ellen last Saturday night. But if you ever want something like this to happen again, respect their privacy and generosity in including you.

It’s okay to share general info with trusted pals, but don’t give away deets that might out the couple in question as your neighbors or ex wife and her new girlfriend. Be respectful and discreet.

Come prepared.

Put in the logical amount of care that you would for any date.

Bring a toothbrush, a towel, and condoms, and a comfy change of socks and underwear. Great hosts might have all this on hand, but better to be sure.

Don’t overstay your welcome.

No doubt that Mr. and Mrs. Pool Party will fuck another four times after your big splash with them, but you’re hanging around for another round—don’t. They want to process how horny the scene was one on one, because that’s how couples are. You are the unicorn, not part of a throuple. At least, not yet.

Order your own taxi or uber.

Don’t wait until you are asked to leave. Let them know you enjoyed yourself, and would appreciate a return invitation. You can’t control whether or not they want to repeat the fantasy, but don’t make them wonder whether they should call if they do want to.

By saying something simple and gracious, you open that possibility. “I enjoyed myself… thank you for the great time. If you’re interested in another weekend date, please give me a call.”

Tell us what you think

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments