Dear Jamie,
Millions of guys (and gals) fantasize about three people at once, and I’m one of them. But the scene that makes my dick hardest is a bit politically incorrect—there’s a lot of stuff about interracial dating, like white girls who are mostly attracted to black men, or European dudes who prefer Asian or Latina women.
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I went out with a girl who said she was “giving me a chance” because my profile sounded nice, but she wasn’t attracted to me—I’m a ginger and she’s most interested in the tall, dark and handsome Middle Eastern men. So I see there’s a lot of controversy around these preferences, but that it’s not at all rare to be super attracted to someone from a different ethnicity.
I dream about getting into bed with a hot native chick and a Latina, or a black woman and a Japanese lady. I think about the contrasting features and bodies against mine, how it will look and feel. But am I doing something wrong?
There’s a lot of threesome porn for both male and females who share my fantasy. Where can I find the real thing? – Rory
♥ ♥ ♥
Hi Rory. Not everyone agrees with me, and I have only my experience as a twenty-something, white woman for perspective. That said, I don’t believe in policing desire, and I don’t believe there’s anything shameful in being attracted to certain or varied cultures or to the idea that variety is the spice of life.
Desire isn’t tidy and can’t be fit into little compartments that make sense. As long as we are respectful in life and love and sex, we don’t need an answer for everything.
There’s a lot of interracial porn, some of it hot, fun, and celebratory, and some of it exploring darker power issues. But even when I find something upsetting, I wonder whether it’s serving a purpose somewhere, just as S&M is a safe place to ritually explore power dynamics. So long as it’s consensual.
That doesn’t mean I like everything—I am VERY disturbed by the proliferation of master and slave porn, for example… and not the BDSM kind! But to my surprise, many African American feminists are involved in these scenes. Who am I to tell them they can’t sexually explore themes of such importance and relevance to them?
Again, you need to find your own answers. But I’m against the idea that we should all be ashamed of our sexual desires. They have a mind of their own. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being attracted to different cultures.
I often find First Nations and Iranian women to be ethereally beautiful, and I am often turned on by the outgoing and never-rushed style of lovemaking by many Latin American men.
I think the answer lies here: are you a jackass to women from cultures other than your own in everyday life? If not, then carry on.
Enjoy that wide variety of porn, and hopefully your online dating profile will result in a real threesome soon!
Love,
Jamie
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