Women talk about sex—we do! So over the years, I’ve collected quite a bit of data on women’s experiences in threesomes—the good, the bad, and the unfortunate ugly.
When you have more than two, the chances of mishaps and misfortunes in the sexual realm only increase. It’s not always anyone’s fault, but sometimes these moments can be prevented.
Here are some threesome tips that can help you prevent fallout and make your girlfriend’s experience the best it can be.
5 Tips to Make HER Threesome Experience Better
1. Ease Her into the Idea
There’s nothing worse than having your boyfriend or husband spring his threesome fantasy on you out of the blue. Unless you’ve both been angling to have a third join you for a while, choose when and how you bring it up carefully.
Most gals I know would rather discuss the idea of an outsider joining them in a casual setting, not while snuggling or during sex. You don’t even have to be direct at first, you can test the waters by asking, “Have you ever had a threesome? What was it like?” or “Would you ever consider a threesome?”
Read: 5 Threesome Fantasies Women DO Have
2. Choose a Third Outside Your Circle
It’s one thing to share your fantasy of a threesome, but quite another to reveal the person you fantasize about joining you. I had a boyfriend who always made “jokes” about having a threesome with me and a hot girlfriend. If I’d said yes, he would have jumped on it, but risking a decades-long friendship for a new beau is always a no-go.
It rarely turns out well when it’s someone you or you and your partner know. I’ve just heard too many breakup stories about sex-with-friends threesomes to recommend it.
Read: How to Find Bi Women for Threesomes
3. Find a Third Online and Vet Together
This takes us to online dating. There are so many niche dating sites like FindaThreesome.com where you don’t have to choose from a tiny pool of friends and co-workers and neighbors. It’s also discrete enough that you can find others who share your kinks and fetishes.
Not only will you want to browse dating profiles together—it’s fun—but you’ll also want to discuss boundaries and expectations. Most women I know like to meet potential thirds outside the bedroom first—it’s a good move for safety issues and just to check out the chemistry.
Read: Best Threesome Dating Sites
4. Respect Her Boundaries and Body Language
Our fantasies and desires don’t always match the person we’re with, but often when we love and trust someone we do things to pleasure the other, because that brings us pleasure. But, not always.
If your girlfriend says she isn’t going to go down on another woman, don’t bring it up in the middle of the threesome expecting her to change her mind—she won’t, and that would be just plain rude. And if she said she was game about something before but changed her mind during the threesome, respect that too.
5. Prioritize Her Needs and Feelings
A new lover can be so thrilling that you lose sight of your partner’s needs and feelings. If this happens to a certain degree, you may never experience another threesome together. And it can cause major issues in your relationship moving forward.
Continuous check-ins through eye contact and touch will assure her that you’re in this together, and that you haven’t forgotten. Spread the love between both women unless you have a cuckold arrangement or she just wants to watch.
What would you add to make a threesome better for your girlfriend?
Tell us what you think