Just the Tips

Reasons a Woman Might Not Orgasm in a Threesome

Sensual Couple in Bed

It seemed like both of your lovers were having a great time. The chemistry was right. Both women were into each other. You focused on her pleasure. You took your time.

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But if one (or both!) ladies of your FFM didn’t hit that golden buzzer, here’s some possibilities why.

She got distracted.

Men might need to focus in order to NOT spill before they’re ready. For women, it’s the other way around. I can be almost there, and then the stroke changes. I can be getting close, and then we change positions and the sails just change course.

There are LOTS of distracting things going on during a threesome. I might not have attention to give to my orgasm even if you do, because I’m busy thinking, holy shit, look at his cock going into her pussy or wow, her mouth feels so good, and I can’t wait to suck those titties.

She isn’t focused on her own orgasm.

Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t always want to worry about coming but be present and enjoy all the different sensations. You can thrust for hours but if my mind is wandering from her riding you or sitting on my face, it just gets hotter and hotter but not closer to the finale.

Remember, I can have my own orgasm any time. Most women masturbating can pop it as fast as you. If that’s what I want, I’ll stay home with my dildo! Sex is much bigger and broader with partners, and the experience won’t always have the narrow trajectory of desire, arousal, and climax.

She’s nervous.

Even when I’m NOT nervous, my body might be. The body can want its own time to get used to a situation. Sometimes when I’m at my most horny, I simply can’t come, so it’s not about arousal or whether or not I’m having a good time. Really hot sex can intimidate the body, so it doesn’t reach that peak. The pleasure comes in different ways.

This is just nature. It’s nothing to worry about and doesn’t reflect your skills or attention.

She doesn’t know you or the other woman intimately yet.

The novelty of group sex and meeting new people is hot hot hot, but I’m more likely to come with someone who I’m with for awhile.

It’s easier to make a familiar partner come. You don’t get to know a body deeply in one or even a few sex sessions. The fresh aspect of it makes up for the depth of experience that comes later.

If you want women to orgasm more, keep a threesome arrangement when you have one that clicks. Just as making love with one girlfriend gets more intimate and orgasmic, an ongoing threesome relationship will too.

Please note, I am in no way saying that a woman’s orgasm isn’t important or that you shouldn’t worry or just think about yourself. I’m saying that sometimes a woman doesn’t come, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It can be extremely stressful and the enjoyment can be lost if I feel you’re waiting for me to get off.

If you’re being generous in bed, don’t worry about it. I would even ask your new partners outright: “I want to make sure you have a great time and are satisfied. I don’t want to pressure you about getting there if you’re enjoying yourself in other ways, so let me know what works for you.”

This shows you’re willing to do what it takes through communication but also to just go with the flow.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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