Does it seem like some guys have all the fun, and that guy isn’t you? Is the threesome you jerk off to in your mind a distant memory from college, or eluded you altogether? Have you been rejected, ignored, or staring in futility at an empty inbox for too long now?
Here are some things you might be doing wrong.
3 Reasons You’re NOT Having Threesomes
1. You Haven’t Asked for What You Want
You might be surprised to find out this is the biggest barrier between a guy and his fantasy threeway.
Most requests will get a few rejections, like any kind of date—a woman you approach might be attached, or not into what you are. But if you put it out there, eventually the right connection will spark.
The likelihood of a threesome dropping into your lap out of the clear blue sky is close to zero. Sure, it does happen. Some guys have been approached at a club or someone else’s wedding and ended up in bed with two babes—they never saw it coming. Some people also win the lottery or have a full head of hair at ninety, but the odds aren’t good. You gotta get out there.
2. You’re Asking, but Your Playboy Attitude Is a Turn Off
Maybe you’re asking for what you want—all the time. If every woman within six degrees of separation has been hounded to hop in bed with you, if every couple among your friends has heard you begging to let you join them, you might come across as desperate, full of yourself, or even creepy.
It can be tough to strike the balance between sex positivity and appearing pervy, pathetic, or too in love with yourself.
You want to be confident, affirming and take ownership of your sexuality. But if you’re not in control and it’s controlling you, that comes across loud and clear. Take the reins.
3. You Have Unrealistic Expectations or Are too Picky
I ran into a guy in my circle recently and the convo turned to sex, as it often does when I’m talking! This dude is a bit geeky, but I would say he has an awkward charm about him that kind of does it for me. But we’ve never hooked up.
He was complaining that an acquaintance of his had asked him to join him and his wife in bed. The problem? He would prefer two women. I mentioned that, with this threesome, there would be at least one woman who was obviously curious about getting it from two guys. His response was “Yeah, but she’s a seven.”
Umm, okay then. I was being kind about his goofy good looks. If I was being this real, I would say he was a five. Not only that, he turned down this very dream of two girls and a guy—with me and a friend a few years ago. He felt my girlfriend was “too chubby.” I told him to go fuck himself, and that’s probably what he did.
Real people are real people. Almost no one is a ten, and if you’re not, well, oh well then. Men who are successful in their sex lives put their best foot forward, but know that sex is about giving pleasure, connecting to other real people, and sharing new experiences. Most sex, and probably the best, is more than skin deep.
What’s your best advice for finding a threesome?
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