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Reasons You Aren’t Living Your Threesome Fantasy

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Threesome fantasies can be as diverse and colourful as any other sex fantasies. Even if you’ve had many threesome adventures, they might not have matched the go-to, jerk-off threeway in your daydreams.

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My favourite threesome fantasy remains a fantasy—Superman and Wonder Woman (more specifically, Lynda Carter) in a helicopter—because it’s impossible. The velocity, the noise, the superpowers… oh, yeah.

I’ve had some dress-up, role-play fun with this one and many orgasms were had by all, believe me. But no Lynda so far…

I asked my sexually adventurous or polyamorous friends if they had threesome fantasies they hadn’t lived, and if so, why not. It was an illuminating survey!

It’s not realistic.

Lots of sexual fantasies are improbable if not impossible. We don’t need to limit our imagination to the possible or realistic. The whole idea of fantasizing is that we can soar away and examine things from other perspectives or taste other worlds.

This isn’t just true in threesome fantasies but in sex fantasies in general—revenge fantasies, lottery fantasies, all of it.

You’re too shy.

Even the most outgoing and adventurous people have their shy side. New things can be intimidating, and some of our racy internal thoughts can make us uncertain.

I was surprised to find out that my lover William, with whom I sometimes enjoy an FFM romp, has other threesome fantasies—watching me take it from behind from another man.

He doesn’t seem very shy when two babes are blowing him, but he said he just wouldn’t know what to do with another dude or if he can handle it in real life if I was more satisfied with another man.

Lack of motivation.

Sexual arousal is one of the most powerful motivators known to humankind.

Still, making a sex fantasy come true isn’t always easy. It can take a lot of dating, planning, screening, sharing, and intimacy that just don’t fit realistically into our schedules or souls.

My friend Karen says she and her husband fantasize about sharing a Latina babe on an exotic beach. She says, “It’s a harmless little daydream we have, and gets us off when we are making love.”

They sometimes have threeways with some swinging friends, but the time they tried online dating to find a Latina girl was a bust. Their small town is a homogenous population. “Plus, planning the vacation, or trying to meet a girl there… it’s really not that important.”

To make threesome dreams come true, you can try breaking down all the obstacles into smaller bits. Keep the expectations of the outcome open ended, but if you don’t plan it out at all, know it’s unlikely to drop into your lap.

Your boundaries prevent fantasies from manifesting.

Not all fantasies need to turn into reality, and most of us understand that. Even if it’s not something impossible, there might be personal limits in place or limits imposed by relationship boundaries.

“My threesome fantasy of all time is to fuck my wife and my ex-girlfriend at the same time,” Jason admitted over drinks. We enjoy a threeway together, and I admire Jason and Candy for their great communication. Jason said his dream was all about chemistry—both women are knockouts.

Candy said they both live by the rule that their open marriage and shared conquests must never include exes, period. “This protects us from the emotional undertow that might happen if we open the tinder box of past loves,” she said. “No matter how hot it might be, it’s not worth that risk.”

What’s keeping you back from your favorite thruway fantasy? Is this a good thing, or something you want to change?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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