Falling in love, and having people fall in love with you, can produce complex psychological problems that seem to have endless sets of answers. Everybody from the ancient philosophers to modern pick-up artists have their opinions. All of them make some valid points, and all of them are wrong.
I’ll say this, though, if you are in a relationship and you get a relationship going with another person, having both those people love you at the same time can turn into a real mess. Love can make people do some crazy ass shit because of you (and to you) if you aren’t careful. You don’t want that.
The classic triangle works because everybody has a role to play. There is you, at the centre, and then there is the wife, and then there is the mistress. Each has a role to play.
The wife: This is the woman who you love and will never leave. This is also the woman who you find sexually boring enough that you need to mess around and cheat on. I don’t judge, but we know it happens. Incidentally, it can just as easily be a woman at the center and two men, the husband and pool boy.
The trick is that the wife can never know that you’re cheating. There’s too much at stake: a life, children perhaps, a career, a circle of friends, a house to lose in the divorce. The wife represents stability and continuity. She may or may not suspect you, but if you get caught outright it is game over.
The mistress: This is the woman who knows. She knows you have a wife. She knows the wife will always come first. She knows she can’t call you when she wants, or see you when she wants. She waits by the phone. She stays silent when you are on the phone lying to your wife about when you will be home.
The mistress also knows she is the disposable one. She is the homewrecker if it comes to that. She is the one your kids will hate after the divorce because she’s younger than they are, and they resent calling her “mom”.
What does she get, then? Well, probably money and gifts. Thrills. The fun of sneaking around and seeing an older guy. The fun of being desired and in on a secret. There’s a lot to it. If she gets too attached though, or starts trying to unsettle the family thing, then it’s big trouble for everybody.
If she keeps things in perspective then she gets to wield her sexuality and have a whole lot of fun, and so do you…unless you screw it all up!
Want a love triangle that works? Do it on the up and up in an open relationship!
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