Just the Tips

Threesome Etiquette for Beginners

Sweaty Sexy Couple

When you have more than one person to consider in a sexual scenario, there are more things to consider. This is especially true if one or both of your partners are new.

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Although my advice is little more than common sense, I preach it because I know firsthand how the excitement for a first threesome can send it off the rails fast.

Let me break down some of my golden rules for threesomes.

Choose partners wisely and together. If you’re single and looking for a couple to join, take your time finding the right match. It’s better to wait than to end up in a little-shop-of-horrors situation. If you’re in an open relationship, don’t just bring home someone you met at the bar on your way home from work. Go “shopping” online to find a third that appeals to both of you.

Go in with realistic expectations. When it comes to online hookups, building up a fantasy is a struggle for most people. You have a few sexy back-and-forth messages and what you come to expect is sizzling chemistry. Drop your fantasy a few notches, so you can be pleasantly surprised rather than frustratingly disappointed.

Provide more than yourself. If you are hosting a threesome, set the scene with some sexy ambiance (lighting, comfortable seating and pillows, music, and food). Talking and flirting helps build arousal before anyone takes their clothes off. If you’re going to someone else’s place, bring some treats or wine, and always condoms… lots of condoms.

Save yourself, and don’t blow your load. The moment two hotties start fondling and kissing one another, you might be ready to burst. This would be a shame, unless you’re that rare species who is able to get hard again soon after orgasm. When it’s your first time at the threesome rodeo, this is understandable, but try to practice what you do with one partner when you want to prolong the fun.

Respect boundaries and limits. In the heat of the moment you may lose your head a little and forget about negotiated boundaries or hard limits—don’t! If you’re not sure if someone is okay with something, anything, do ask before going there. It’s always best to err on the side of caution with new partners, because you might want to hook up again!

Give your primary partner the most attention. Unless your wife, girlfriend, or partner has specifically said that they want to sit out and only watch you with someone else, focus on their pleasure and check in throughout the experience to make sure they are all good. No one wants to feel like the third wheel in a threesome.

Be engaged and present. Focus on pleasing both partners unless otherwise discussed, and stay in the moment. The magic that a group experience can be is oft lost when one or more parties goes too far off into lala land, focusing on their own needs and not seeing the big picture.

Like I said, most of this is common sense and can actually be applied to social group interactions outside the bedroom. If you have something to add, please leave a comment!

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