Tips for Adding Intimacy to a Threesome

All of of my threesomes have happened with knowing at least one of the two others involved beforehand, whether it be an acquaintance or a good friend.

I can’t imagine having sex with two complete strangers I’ve met online, but people are doing it all the time! Sometimes it’s a sexy single looking for a hot couple to get it on with, and sometimes it’s polyamorous primary partners seeking a third to join their open relationship.

With niche dating sites, like CouplesDating.com, group sex fantasies are much more likely to come true.

Now, if you’re a little more reserved and still want your online hookups to have some kind of intimacy, there are a few things you can do to make it more cozy for you and your new friends.

Meet before the threesome. This is a good idea anyway, because you just don’t know how someone will match up to their online dating profile until you meet them. It will also give you a chance to talk about expectations and boundaries without the risk of ruining the mood.

Choose one person you already know. You want intimacy you can trust? Go clubbing with a gal pal to help you pick out a third to take home, or go for broke and ask your girlfriend what you’ve been dying to—can we try a threesome?

Create an intimate setting. Some people are more comfortable with hosting a threesome, while others may want the discretion a hotel offers. Either way, you can create a warm, inviting setting with mood lighting, cozy cushions, lotions and potions, and drinks and snacks on hand.

Plan for foreplay. Intimacy cannot and should not be rushed. Nobody wants to plow through a threesome, not with an extra person’s needs on the table. Two of my fave extras to add into a group are full-body massages and baths, so I always stock up on oils and bars, as well as scented candles and bubblebath.

Stay for afterplay. Go in with a positive attitude, and try not to give yourself and others any time restrictions. Allow for everyone to get comfortable and enjoy not just the experience, but the comedown too. If it becomes uncomfortable (for any reason) by all means, exit graciously; but there’s nothing better than round two with two people when things are going well!

When you have the time to unwind with your play partners, you also have a chance to plan another hookup if everyone is interested.

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