What Can Derail a Threesome

A threesome, in theory, sounds like a highly charged sure thing. Dream on: not unlike a blind date, they can be a bust—and even you might be the problem.

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Beware of these Threesome Red Flags

Unpreparedness. Imagine you want to mount a play. You invite all your friends to help. Everyone shows up for the first rehearsal and guess what—you forgot to write the script, and everyone is left fumbling on stage looking for something to do. 3sums are much the same.

Until you’re with partners for a while and get to know their desires, plan ahead. What do you want to get up to or try for the first time? Make sure everyone knows ahead of time or you’ll be distracted by crickets.

Uncertainty of desires. If you don’t know what you want from a 3sum then you’re not ready for one. A refrain of “Hmm, not sure” will be a buzzkill. Don’t come out of your hole until you got something.

Incompatibilities. A bad match is everyone’s fault. Ensuring everyone is going into it with the same playlist is as easy as a pre-hookup discussion. The last thing you want at lift-off is to hear “I only do anal” in an otherwise anal-free zone.

Unsafe players. “I don’t like wearing condoms.” Imagine hearing that just as things are getting heavy. The aforementioned playlist will instantly start to skip.

Stench. I could have called this one “Body Odor”, but when you’re up close to someone you might barely know, odor is stench. I can’t stress enough how this can be a complete distraction. Threesome hygiene is a must. And I’m sorry but Axe body spray does not count as a shower.

Jealousy is the worst. No doubt I’ve brought it up before. For goodness sake, you’re in a 3sum—bodies (and intimacy) must be shared. If possessiveness is a problem for anyone involved, the party’s not so much fun. It leads to competitiveness, in a situation where everyone should be on the same side.

Jealousy is unhealthy in any situation—and more so when you’re naked. Being jealous doesn’t help your pleasure or your performance.

These things are real! A threesome is only a perfect fantasy until the moment arrives, then real life kicks in.

And real life is filled with traps. Navigate wisely and with preparation.

Go Team Go!

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