Just the Tips

What to Do after a Threesome is Over

Man between Two Women on Couch

There’s a lot that happens before a threesome ever takes place. You may join a dating site to find a third to join you and your girlfriend, or a couple to join. You may have several dates, getting to know potential lovers. And you may spend weeks planning because you’ve decided to host the big night. There’s a lot of buildup. But what about what happens after a threesome?

Let’s assume that your threeway was hot and steamy, sweet and sensual. Perhaps there was a bit of awkwardness at the beginning, but once everyone was comfortable, it was full steam ahead. And let’s pretend that everyone has come, at least once! Now what?

This is something to think about ahead of time, to avoid any weirdness. Decide with your partner, or on your own if you’re joining a couple, what the afterspace looks like. It’s good to have a general picture of how you want to wrap things up or not, but to still be flexible on how things can unexpectedly transpire.

What to Do after a Threesome

Take a Break

If your threeway has been an undisputed success for all three parties, there may be only one thing today—take a break before you go for round two! Your stamina and ability to recharge will play a factor, of course, and you may want to just bask in the glow everyone is emitting while you fantasize about what you want to happen next.

Enjoy a Cuddlefest

Cuddle piles and get togethers are a real thing in the polyamory community. I’ve even seen posters in my neighborhood, looking for primo cuddlers. If you love spooning and the intimacy cuddling provides, why not just enjoy the physical proximity of three lovers. It’s a nice way to unwind after a rigorous threesome too.

Have a Sleepover

If you never plan on seeing your third again, either because a one-off was all you wanted or because things didn’t go so well, this isn’t a good idea. But if things went swimmingly and you and your partner don’t want your third to hit the road just yet, why not invite him or her for a sleepover. It also opens up the possibility of morning sex!

Go for a Late-Night Meal

Sex can really work up one’s appetite, and giving and receiving with an extra person even more so. If you’re feeling hungry and up for it, why not check out that new sushi place around the corner, or the all-night diner downtown. There’s nothing quite like enjoying a good meal while reminiscing about what just happened.

Offer a Nightcap

If an overnight isn’t what you want, offer your guest a nightcap before they go home. It’s polite and doesn’t give your third the idea that it’s all about sex, even if it is for you. If you’re hosting, keep some alcoholic beverages on hand, as well as coffee and juice for teetotallers.

Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

Now if you’re the third, be sure to know when it’s prudent to pack things up and go. Hopefully you will have discussed this before arriving to avoid any awkward moments, but it’s always better to leave a little prematurely than to overstay. If you make a move to go, and they want you to stay for whatever reason, they they’ll let you know.

Dissect and Reflect

If you all love to gab, this may just happen as soon as things end. But in most cases, it’s something you’ll want to give some breathing time to. You may wait until your third has left to really get into your feelings on how things went or you may want to discuss it a few days later. If you were the third, you might want to call up your closest friend to share the details when you get home (of course, practice sexual discretion.)

Make Plans

Was it obvious that everyone had a great time? If your answer is a confident YES, why not make plans for another get together. Maybe you want to choose a different location, or plan something like going out for dinner before going back home. If you think this could be a regular threesome that all of you might enjoy, be sure to make that known and look to the future.

What Do You Do after a Threesome? Share an experience in the comments!

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