A girlfriend recently admitted that after being part of a triad for a couple years that what was once hot and heavy and transgressive had become a little routine.
“How on earth do you go from holy fuck, I’m watching my man’s cock penetrating another vagina, and an explosive orgasm, to ho hum?” she asked.
The thrill of sex is a blend of the familiar and the unknown. We get attuned to a partner’s body, even more so when in love. It’s a payoff for losing out on the thrill of novelty and variety. Introducing threesomes makes it the best of both worlds—we can share novelty and variety with our trusted partner for out of this world fireworks and intimacy.
But even the finest of life’s offerings—oysters, chocolate, breasts—can get stale if routine.
It’s time to spice things up and recover the lost thrills!
Dial the frequency back.
If you’re having regular threesomes, I’m tempted to say “boo hoo” a little sarcastically. But all kidding aside, you might just need a break.
You wouldn’t enjoy ice cream if you ate it all the time either. Let some time go by in between threesomes, so you have a chance to look forward to them.
Rekindle the one on one.
If threesomes have become boring, that might be a signal to focus on each other.
You may even discover that’s what was getting lost. Finding the center again might be all that’s needed to make threeways hot when you have them in the future.
After all, kinky games and sexy diversions are amazing, but if the whole point was to get closer to each other sexually, and you’re drifting off, getting back to basics may be all you need to recover the spark.
Add variety to spice things up.
It’s not variety, even if it’s three of you, if it’s the same old in and out time and time again.
Do you always start up the same away, say, with both ladies sucking your dick?
Change course. Play dress-up. Surprise her with an MMF. Experiment with BDSM. Have make-out sessions where the clothes don’t come off until you’ve all practically come. Start off at the martini bar, pretending to be strangers.
Try finding thirds that don’t fit the stereotype of your type. Enjoy a new experience! Just because your go-to is a quirky, curvy brunette doesn’t mean choosing a leggy lesbian or a Burt Reynolds look-a-like is out of the question.
It doesn’t have to be the same-old same-old.
Experiment with role playing.
As mentioned above, kinky variations add a lot to sex and role play is always a lot of fun. Bedroom theater is great for couples, but even more suited to three or more because you can elaborate and get expansive.
I mess around with a couple, and we have a lot of fun. The wife dresses up as a hooker and heads down to the local watering hole while her hubby dresses like a country singer, I put on my rich girl outfit and pretend to walk into the wrong bar. We raise a few dozen eyebrows before going home to our rendezvous.
You can do cops and robbers, doctor and patient, or a dozen different walk-in scenarios where one of you accidentally interrupts the other two getting it on.
Role plays let you get into bed with different people every time!
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