Couples Advice

Advice for a Couple’s First Threesome

Happy Couple in Bed

Thinking about having a threesome with your current partner? Here’s some bare-bones advice from a poly guy who’s had some good, and not-so-good group sex experiences.

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Don’t have a threesome just to impress somebody. If you’re thinking of agreeing to it because your partner has been nagging you, don’t. If you don’t feel it, you’re going to regret it and end up feeling a lot worse after. The jealousy will do your relationship in.

Don’t send messages to women looking for monogamous relationships. I looked at ads on Craigslist (before they banned all that). It just seems weird and desperate. Use a niche dating site where other couples and singles are looking for the same thing. Create a couples’ dating profile together that speaks to both your desires.

Be the sexiest couple in the room. Just look like a sexy, open, united front, and people will gravitate towards you, and maybe even want to follow you home. Be flirty as a couple in public, but never let on your intention until you have somebody with you at your place.

Create a natural environment if you do get lucky. When you bring someone home or have a interested party arrive, put out wine and talk late into the night. Let the women get cozy and comfortable before you make any moves.

Speak honestly and succinctly. If you’re not sure how to get the party started, direct conversation isn’t a bad idea. I once said in an MMF situation to the other man, “Do you wanna fuck my girlfriend?” I guess I find it easier to talk that way to another man. I could see it more challenging if you were bi-curious, though.

Plan your threesome with your partner. You’ll have more success if both of you are discussing boundaries the night in advance and working with each other to achieve your goals. Shopping online for a third together should be fun and arousing.

Take into consideration everyone’s needs. If you end up on the sidelines, enjoy the act of watching. If someone else is out of the action, make sure they’re okay with watching, or bring them back into the fold if they feel excluded or neglected. Aim to please all involved because a giving lover is a memorable one.

Be safe. Consider how a new person will feel joining a couple for the first time. They may not feel safe coming to your place, so you may want to have a few meetups to get to know one another or book your tryst at a hotel. Another safety measure is of course, having lots of condoms on hand.

Check in with your partner afterwards. This is especially important if this is the first time opening up your relationship to an outsider. You’ll both have lots of feelings to discuss, as well as what you liked and didn’t, and whether group sex is something you’d both like to experience again.

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