Q & A

Should You Hire a Sex Worker for Your Threesome?

Sexy Panties and Money

Dear Jamie,

My wife and I agreed to open the bedroom doors to another woman for a threesome. She’s been into women for a long time but left that side behind in college. Like any guy, I’ve been curious about sex with different partners and wouldn’t say no to watching my wife go down on a girl!

The problem is that we haven’t been able to find that unicorn! Susan wasn’t into the idea of calling my ex-girlfriend, who would be totally into it as she has mentioned more than once she’d love to make a guest appearance. We set up an online dating profile but feel nervous about meeting people that way because we live in a small town. My wife suggested we hire a sex worker because it would be efficient and neutral.

What do you think? – Shayne

Congratulations on the fun times ahead! As you can probably tell from reading this blog, the hardest part about threesomes might be arranging one. There are always so many variables that go into getting the right three people together. But it’s a fun challenge!

There are a few drawbacks and many benefits to connecting with a sex worker to explore your fantasies.

I think the major drawback is personally and culturally psychological—there is a lot of stigma around the transactional aspect. For whatever reason, because money is exchanged, somehow, to some people, this is immoral. Others worry more reasonably about exploitation and consent. For this reason, you might try looking for women who are “independent” which simply means they work for themselves.

You want to avoid booking dates with women who are underaged or undocumented, two demographics that are most exploited in the field. (The latter is tricky too, as some undocumented workers are indeed independent and rely on the income more than other people.)

The other drawback will be the more clinical aspect of the deed. Not being organic or spontaneous or born from another woman’s insatiable desire might mean a spark is missing. There will be discussions beforehand about what acts she is into and what not to do. While this can feel a bit strange, it’s worth noting that the same issues can arise in a spontaneous or dating setting for a threesome. One or more people may be merely “going through the motions” or feeling awkward or not being as attracted as anticipated. There are always so many variables when it comes to sex!

The benefits of meeting with a sex worker can definitely outweigh the drawbacks. One is that the situation can be female led. In this case, it was Susan’s idea, and a consenting independent girlfriend for hire can be the perfect empowering choice for her.

She doesn’t need to feel threatened by emotional involvements with your ex—another benefit. While sex workers require the same respect and dignity as any date, her role is much less complicated in the bedroom than a close friend or an ex.

Make sure you communicate what you need and expect in advance, so there are no surprises for her. Go out of your way to be considerate and provide for her creature comforts—clean linens, clean towels, a taxi. And let the ladies take the lead. It can be a memorable shared experience for all three of you.

Have you ever hired a sex worker for a group-sex experience? Please share in the comments!

Tell us what you think!

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