Are you planning your first threesome with your partner? Have you made contact with a couple who you want to join for some group-sex antics?
There are many kinds of threesomes, but there is one thing that they all can benefit from—planning. Careful thought and planning increases your chances of success in most areas of life. Think about presentations, interviews, first dates, or apartment hunting—going into these willy nilly can have disastrous effects. We all have our tales of woe.
Here are some planning essentials that can help make your threesome more successful.
Know what you want (and what your partner wants). Sometimes threesomes just happen, but most of the time there are discussions at length in open relationships about how group sex would be possible. It’s not a good idea to get yourself into a threesome just to please your partner—it should be enjoyable for you too. Express your expectations, hopes, boundaries and limits, and ask your partner about hers before you go looking for a third.
Get to know the participants outside the bedroom first. A first date is a little awkward, while a first threesome has the potential for full-blown panic attacks or worse. Take the time to sit down for coffee or drinks, get to know the person or people who you hope to become intimate with. If you’ve been online dating for a while, you know that online chemistry does not always translate into real life.
Lower your expectations. Another go-to rule that can apply to many things in one’s life, helping you to appreciate the good and not be upset by the not so good. Great sex often comes from trust and intimacy that has been cultivated, so a threesome hookup with new partners may not have the same zing that your years-long fantasy has. Or maybe you’ve watched so much threesome porn that you think that’s what’s going to go down. Think again.
Create a comfortable setting. Sometimes singles and couples are just so happy that they’ve scored a threesome, that they forget until it’s too late about the actual environment. You can’t expect that your new friends are going to host just because you have a tiny bachelor apartment. They might feel more comfortable meeting in a neutral location such as a hotel. Or maybe you do want to host, but they would feel more at ease in their home. Wherever you choose, choose early, and have all the creature comforts available—food and drinks, blankets and pillows, mood lighting and music, clean towels and sheets.
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